Wednesday, June 19, 2002
Break Me, Jewel sang... They Broke Me, Gputz sings
I couldn't surf yesterday so I couldn't post this right now. My Panel Interview yesterday brought me to experience a new extreme in the field of emotions. I've been walking on light for so long, that a part of me inside just blew up during this intense Panel Interview. Five people, staring me down... in an airconditioned room. Questions I couldn't answer... Questions I did answer but was probably wrong on... and then the one that "Broke Me (into tears)"...
[After all the hard work done and reaching it this far, but at the same time telling myself inside that I shouldn't be disappointed If I didn't make it... they just stared at me for one moment. I arrived early for this important interview... and during the wait I got to meet these VPAPU people and they were soooooo friendly. And then when we entered the interrogation room... they were all serious. And then at this point the president of VPAPU says: "Try again." and she basically tosses my portfolio with all my work for applying to the VPAPU towards me. I was accepting this. But their faces, as if all the answers I gave them during the interrogation ruined the way they saw me as a person. Their faces in disgust. I would have gone ok if they'd smile and laugh and tell me to try again. But the way they did it. Inside I was handling it and I walked towards the door in this silent air conditioned room. Then as I was reaching for the doorknob they stopped me. Then they told me to sit back in the chair. There, they asked "How do you feel?". I replied, "Defeated. Lossed. Confused. I mean... you guys dismissed me like that. I was caught by surprise."]
So they banged me with more questions and told me that the VPAPU is all blame no praise. When you look at the stage with a performance. You always look at the actors or the actions going on. But what about the background which VPAPU spent so much to work on. See... no one really cares if the lighting is there. IT'S just there. HOWEVER... when the lighting goes bad, when the background looks ruined... then that's where people react. Being part of VPAPU means having to sacrifice ourselves to even feel sadness. To be blamed when something goes wrong, and to never be actually praised by the audience. This is how they explained it.
I understood their professionalism. I started crying and I couldn't stop. And inside I didn't want to cry, I mean I did need to. Except I just kept on going... and I couldn't stop.
(THE DLSU-D is closing me up... gotta go!)
I couldn't surf yesterday so I couldn't post this right now. My Panel Interview yesterday brought me to experience a new extreme in the field of emotions. I've been walking on light for so long, that a part of me inside just blew up during this intense Panel Interview. Five people, staring me down... in an airconditioned room. Questions I couldn't answer... Questions I did answer but was probably wrong on... and then the one that "Broke Me (into tears)"...
[After all the hard work done and reaching it this far, but at the same time telling myself inside that I shouldn't be disappointed If I didn't make it... they just stared at me for one moment. I arrived early for this important interview... and during the wait I got to meet these VPAPU people and they were soooooo friendly. And then when we entered the interrogation room... they were all serious. And then at this point the president of VPAPU says: "Try again." and she basically tosses my portfolio with all my work for applying to the VPAPU towards me. I was accepting this. But their faces, as if all the answers I gave them during the interrogation ruined the way they saw me as a person. Their faces in disgust. I would have gone ok if they'd smile and laugh and tell me to try again. But the way they did it. Inside I was handling it and I walked towards the door in this silent air conditioned room. Then as I was reaching for the doorknob they stopped me. Then they told me to sit back in the chair. There, they asked "How do you feel?". I replied, "Defeated. Lossed. Confused. I mean... you guys dismissed me like that. I was caught by surprise."]
So they banged me with more questions and told me that the VPAPU is all blame no praise. When you look at the stage with a performance. You always look at the actors or the actions going on. But what about the background which VPAPU spent so much to work on. See... no one really cares if the lighting is there. IT'S just there. HOWEVER... when the lighting goes bad, when the background looks ruined... then that's where people react. Being part of VPAPU means having to sacrifice ourselves to even feel sadness. To be blamed when something goes wrong, and to never be actually praised by the audience. This is how they explained it.
I understood their professionalism. I started crying and I couldn't stop. And inside I didn't want to cry, I mean I did need to. Except I just kept on going... and I couldn't stop.
(THE DLSU-D is closing me up... gotta go!)
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