Sunday, July 07, 2002
Almost Seventeen
Saturday, July 13th marks my 17th birthday. I'm not even up to it anymore. Back when I was eleven, I used to be so excited for my birthday that I started planning things in advanced. As advance as the month of April. Then, when July 1 would come... it would be this tremendous countdown where every night it would be hard to sleep.
And now, that I'm 16 turning 17 in less then a week... it's almost nothing. Financially, my family at the moment is at the deepest and most intense of problems if we had a chart ranging back three years. My dad is in Guam and his results to getting his job are pending... a great deal depends on getting that job. My brother and my mother are still trying to survive in the house day to day and battling against bills, bills, and more bills. Myself... the one that has drained much of the income the past three months due to Enrollment and start-up at College Life, adds the hardest of problems with the Preliminaries this week and getting a test permit costing us 10 grand in peso. We might have to call in and get the test permit without paying at the moment.
My birthday used to be this big celebration. Not that I was ever the kind of popular guy, it's just I would invite a list of friends and we would throw bowling parties, parties at the NCO club (othe most delcious place to eat at on a military base), or at our house. Games, loud music, it was a complete party.
Then in the Philippines it didn't change much, except of course the visitors would be relatives and some classmates. Then, I believe... the biggest one I've had in my teen years was LAST YEAR. Yep. I dunno, it's just something in my family that likes to celebrate birthdays with lots of people around... but last year, it wasn't my relatives. It was my whole High School Batch that came to my house that one rainy Friday the 13th of 2001.
All the groups of my batch were present. The party was 12 hours long from 5pm (afterschool) up to 5am with a sleepover with some of the guys. We had a video camera, played PS2 endlessly, had BBQ, we sang kareoke, we had a tent outside, we even had our own 10-minute brownout... that was the day I graduated. That was the day I graduated. Why do I say this? It's because from that day which seemed to be one of my most pleasant in Senior Year High School... things began to rapidly deteriorate between myself and my other classmates. It felt like that was the last day I was ever completely with my batch... or ever felt included. That's another story.
It would usually be a drinking party with the others, yet I seemed to have celebrated the only clean party of the guys birthdays last year. It didn't bother me, because they all had fun anyways.
So this Saturday? I'm torn between asking College Friends or old Friends, or having relatives. I'm not in the mood anymore, yet I still want to be happy on my birthday this year. I don't want to go home and have a mess of laundry and have it keep raining like yesterday... I want to feel important as a family member in a postive way.
Saturday, July 13th marks my 17th birthday. I'm not even up to it anymore. Back when I was eleven, I used to be so excited for my birthday that I started planning things in advanced. As advance as the month of April. Then, when July 1 would come... it would be this tremendous countdown where every night it would be hard to sleep.
And now, that I'm 16 turning 17 in less then a week... it's almost nothing. Financially, my family at the moment is at the deepest and most intense of problems if we had a chart ranging back three years. My dad is in Guam and his results to getting his job are pending... a great deal depends on getting that job. My brother and my mother are still trying to survive in the house day to day and battling against bills, bills, and more bills. Myself... the one that has drained much of the income the past three months due to Enrollment and start-up at College Life, adds the hardest of problems with the Preliminaries this week and getting a test permit costing us 10 grand in peso. We might have to call in and get the test permit without paying at the moment.
My birthday used to be this big celebration. Not that I was ever the kind of popular guy, it's just I would invite a list of friends and we would throw bowling parties, parties at the NCO club (othe most delcious place to eat at on a military base), or at our house. Games, loud music, it was a complete party.
Then in the Philippines it didn't change much, except of course the visitors would be relatives and some classmates. Then, I believe... the biggest one I've had in my teen years was LAST YEAR. Yep. I dunno, it's just something in my family that likes to celebrate birthdays with lots of people around... but last year, it wasn't my relatives. It was my whole High School Batch that came to my house that one rainy Friday the 13th of 2001.
All the groups of my batch were present. The party was 12 hours long from 5pm (afterschool) up to 5am with a sleepover with some of the guys. We had a video camera, played PS2 endlessly, had BBQ, we sang kareoke, we had a tent outside, we even had our own 10-minute brownout... that was the day I graduated. That was the day I graduated. Why do I say this? It's because from that day which seemed to be one of my most pleasant in Senior Year High School... things began to rapidly deteriorate between myself and my other classmates. It felt like that was the last day I was ever completely with my batch... or ever felt included. That's another story.
It would usually be a drinking party with the others, yet I seemed to have celebrated the only clean party of the guys birthdays last year. It didn't bother me, because they all had fun anyways.
So this Saturday? I'm torn between asking College Friends or old Friends, or having relatives. I'm not in the mood anymore, yet I still want to be happy on my birthday this year. I don't want to go home and have a mess of laundry and have it keep raining like yesterday... I want to feel important as a family member in a postive way.
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