Saturday, July 12, 2003
(This is a special "The Damage Report")
IF WE COULD BE HEROES
The Damage Report - Year 2 - Ending Week #05
Background Music: "Please Don't Treat Me Like a Fool" by Blue
NOTE: This is a weekly blog entry that summarizes a series of events of a finished week in and around La Salle.
INSIDE of me I feel like an ocean has formed from the inner sadness that has suddenly foamed up in my College Life. An ocean of tears that don't come out physically, but just drown my heart in sorrow and depression.
I have just completed perhaps the most bizarre, interesting, and dramatic week so far in 2nd Year College or College entirely. It was just too damn weird and too damn heart-clenching. I've never felt this kind of sadness (non-family related) since 2nd Year High School.
What am I talking about? Well, it's kind of a long story but I really need to explain it.
It goes like this. I have a new friend who is suffering from an unknown illness. This new friend of mine is a dorm mate who happens to be the only AB Communication guy in the men's dormitory. I've spent over a year of dormitory life living side by side with ComSci and Business Management guys... and never a person, not one person, to share the many experiences of the active and energized life of AB Com and Broadjourn.
This year, with a 200% increase in amount of guys at the dorms now... as far as I know, only one is AB Comm. When I met him, I shared to him my experience as a Freshmen student last year under the same department. I showed him pictures, I told him so many stories, and he shared his first days of College Life to me too. We spoke about the girls in AB Comm to the different kinds of professors in our department.
We could have these long conversations about anything. We spoke about organizations. I shared to him my days as a probationary member of VPAPU and he's sharing to me his moments of applying for the DLSU-D Pop Band.
When he talks about his classmates, I picture myself inside his classroom. It's through him I seem to re-live my Freshmen year. And it is because of him I get excited since there's so much ahead for him this year.
The Problem
One day a few weeks ago he told me he collapsed in his classroom one time. I had thought he was just exhausted, perhaps because he was already being pressured as the elected President of his block.
And then, he told me it happened again at the library. And then one time, inside his dorm room and no one knew about it.
When he collapses, he really collapses. It isn't just fainting. He regains consciousness only to feel intervals of severe chest pain. It lasts for nearly an hour until finally he snaps out of it and regains complete consciousness only to feel helpless, vulnurable, and weak.
I advised him to see a doctor immedietly and he did. Twice in fact, not including his visits to the University Clinic. His classmates support him, his room mates support him, and I support him.
***
The Event
Last Tuesday night we all decided to eat out at Inazalle. It was the tropa and I invited my AB Com friend to join us since we were in my room talking. We did and we ate out. It was a great night. I was laughing with Abbie and Len when Len did a dance to mock the singer at Inazalle. It was all going good.
We returned to the dormitories inside the campus. Down the dim Lake Avenue everyone had a partner to talk to. I was with my friend and told him we should drop the girls (Abbie and Gaile) to their dorms by going to the E-House.
At the E-House, he received a phone call from his father as a routine check up. I sat down on the sidewalk and replied to a txt msg. I had received. He sat down and I told him "Saglit lang." (Wait a moment). As I read [Message Sent] on my cellphone, I felt something heavy collapse onto my left leg.
He had collapsed right there! I helped him up and he was feeling dizzy and very heavy. He appeared he could make it to the dorm so I told him we should get up and head to my room since that was our plan. He was going to join me in dubbing the Meteor Garden episode I had to dub for Speech and Oral Comm.
We got up and he described the orange-lit street to be shaking and moving. About half-way to the Men's Dormitory Compound, he collapsed again but managed to get his arms to break his fall by placing them on the wall above the waist-high bushes.
I helped him up and we made it into the compound, slowly. I told him "Mauna ka na sa F3, ako na mag-lo-log in para sa atin..."
He slowly proceeded down the hall as I wrote our names down in the log-book. The group of dorm mates that were playing chess near the light of the hallway in front of F1 suddenly had their attention diverted to someone down the hall. I turned into an exclamation point and quickly looked down the hall. My friend was gone.
Wait. He had collapsed entirely this time. I ran up to him and saw him on the ground. It was like someone shot a person and their position on the ground would be something like that. Immedietly a few neighbors of mine helped my friend up and we lifted him to F2.
Eventually three security guards came by including Sister Nancy and another lady that appeared to be a nurse. Dorm mates passed by and looked at my friend as he was on R.K.'s bed. My friend would regain consciousness and then suddenly lose equilibrium as he would have the tendency to swing himself off the bed. He was also holding his upper chest hard as he felt some kind of intense pain.
"Take him to the UMC. Now." others said including Sister Nancy.
I was the only one in the room or in the entire place that knew his story. His father has a heart condition and his mother can easily have a nervous breakdown. Taking him to the UMC meant worrying his parents to the extreme and they would pull him out of La Salle entirely... without question.
He lifted his other hand and waved "no... don't take me to the UMC... I took my medicine already... it's just taking a while to take effect..." and despite the guilt I was feeling, I had to agree to what he was saying. Yes, he did take his medicine. And these episodes have happened a few times already.
Sister Nancy noticed the intervals of pain slow down and therefore ordered he be carried to his room and rest there. We lifted him up and brought him to his room all the while jokes being exchanged and dorm mates looking at him.
Moments later in his room, he finally snapped out of it and regained complete consciousness. He called out immedietly "Where's George?" and I got closer to him. He couldn't move much since he described it as running around the oval ten times without stopping.
He said a few things that I didn't know about on his condition. He told me about a possible mis-diagnosis at the UMC and other things. I was planning on staying with him until he dozed off to sleep since he looked tired. After giving him a glass of water, he suddenly said "George, natatakot ako... what if... what if lang... I didn't wake up in the morning."
Huh!? He knocked on wood and so did I and I immedietly said "No! That's not true. You're going to wake up tomorrow on Washday Wednesday and see your friends and classmates."
He smiled and then said: "George... parang akong bata dito... but, one last favor... can you stay here until I fall asleep?"
That was already my plan. Joel handed me a picture of Abbie, Len, Gaile, and Nina (studio pic) and I looked at the picture until my friend fell asleep.
That's when it hit me.
I had a series of flashbacks of what had just occured. His question "What If I don't wake up tomorrow morning?" echoed in my head. My instinct to care for people made it even more worse when I started to have my own images. "What if what he said was true George... what would happen to you George..."
I saw myself on Wednesday morning still in my pajamas opening the door of my room to see people carry my friend away down the hall and my other dorm mates were dead serious as they stood outside.
NO!!!!!!!!
I spent the rest of the evening (midnight actually) in my room staring. I think, for the first time in my life, I have been traumatized. I wanted to see him completely healthy and enjoying his freshmen year.
(In other news: Monday was interviewing Dean Antonio for the Persona and Tuesday the first Broadsheet of the year was released)
***
The Prayer
The darkest Wednesday I've ever had was probably this Wednesday. The whole day, even if his room mate told me he went to class and was okay, I was still fixed on the last image I've had of him.... my friend in bed after suffering all that pain.
Ben was at Square Canteen, yes, Ben from last year. And it suprised me. For one moment I was a bit happy and back to normal...
I attended the HF meeting and we evaluated the Broadsheet. I have six articles and one credited picture published in it. Three other pictures were in the "A place named... Ilocus" but were blended into the backgrounds.
In our Reed103: Church, some groups performed their assigned topics. We even had this sing and dance prayer "Ah-sunta-seh-ah-sunta-seh... o-ah-weh" something like that song. My class was laughing and having fun. I was happy for everyone but at that time of the afternoon... I didn't know what was happening to my friend. I approached Mr. A. Sepeda and informed him "I want to lead the Closing Prayer."
He let me lead the closing prayer. JOU2-1 stared at me as I walked to the middle of the class.
"Class I'm going to lead a special prayer for a friend of mine who is suffering from an unknown illness. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen...."
I told them the story (blind item style) and at the time I just felt like I wanted to just cry out. My emotions are just so strong when these things happen.
"...classmates please join me in our prayer: 'I will continue... oh my God... to do all my actions for the love of you...' ----- Thank you classmates. St. John Baptist de La Salle, Pray for Us. Live Jesus in our Hearts, Forever."
When I finished the prayer, I felt so heavy. So confused. Did I do that correctly? Was it right for me to do that? I don't know. According to some classmates, what I did was okay.
In the evening I did not get to see my friend. I passed by his room and the lights were off, the door was closed, and the fan was on. I didn't want to disturb anyone.
Another time, the light was on and the door was open but he wasn't there.
Throughout Wednesday, I didn't get to see him once. I know he went to class, but I didn't see him in person walking around. To me, he was still in that bed where I left him.
In the evening we ate out at Ben and went to a crowded SPEED. It was so crowded, we gave up and just went to McDo. Talk about the difference between the two. I was bad trip during the tropa dinner on Wednesday night because we waited for Aldrich again for the nth time. I started to call him V.I.P. and I yelled at him and Lance when they came out of the dormitory compound and the rain was the hardest ever. I shouted to them: "NICE TIMING YOU ASSHOLES!!!!"
It may sound funny, but it was serious at that time. Abbie and Alex looked at me and tried to control me. I was just frustrated. We wait for Aldrich for so long... and then when we were at McDo... we were about five minutes away from leaving the place when he left before us saying "I have to go back to the dorm now."
He's the last one to get ready and the first one to leave us at dinner. He's such a nice guy isn't he?
***
The Come-back
Thursday morning came and after two days of academic backlash, I decided to make my Thursday and Friday the come-back. I wasn't late for Speech. I actually woke up early. I had missed Speech for two consecutive Thursdays already.
My only wish was to see my friend walking around like normal... that would make me feel better.
I logged out and noticed his name was the last one. I walked down the road and as I passed by La Buena Comida, he was there by himself walking.
I walked a bit faster to catch up. I yelled his name and he turned around. He said "Hey George... thanks nga pala the other night for taking care of me."
At that moment, I was relieved. So relieved. His class was at JFH 203 I think, mine was at JFH 301. We spoke and my whole day was made just right there. To see him up and about.
I entered the Speech lab with a smile... even with the possibility of my group on failing the dubbing activity since I didn't have a script and we would depend on the english captions of the Meteor Garden episode. Luckily, we wearn't the ones going to perform. The first group did a Rugrats episode and they were cute. Another group did Jologz and they were good too. Christian, Mark, and the all-guy group did that one green-minded japanese cartoon with the little kid. They were funny. And Eric's group did "Moulin Rouge" which was also funny.
Thursday was better in all aspects. We ate at Mickey's Diner and things were going good. In the evening, I ate out again with the tropa and back at the dorms I had my friend visit my room (he was roaming around). Inside my room a bunch of Magic-card players came. They played "CHAOS" until the fucked up security guard with the attitude stopped their game. I had my friend stay and we spoke for another hour at the most.
The Hero
He told me that he saved someones life that evening. Literally! He told me he was with a fellow dorm mate and they were returning from Waltermart. A group of Lasallian students inside a jeepnee were also on the way home. They were talking out loud about the girl with them was really drunk after having her first drink due to a serious problem with a boyfriend perhaps.
The girl was about to throw up and they decided to stop the jeep and vacate it immedietly. When the jeep was about to stop, my friend was sitting next to the exit and the drunk girl was about to topple over and land head-first into the hard asphalt of rock and cement. If she had landed... she would suffer severe head damage.
My friend catched her as she fell at the same the she started throwing up all over his arm.
He had "saved her life."
***
The Heart
Suddenly he described that his heart was vibrating the whole time and he couldn't sleep with that feeling. I told him to just sleep over. He went up to get his cellphone after he received a message, when he got up... he suddenly fell back onto my bed.
"ALEX!!!"
I got my room mate Alex to help me fix my friend up on the bed. He collapsed again! He regained consciousness but there were only three intervals I think of that chest pain that were far apart from each other. He fell asleep right there.
His results from the checkups would be out during the weekend so things should be okay. But while he was sleeping, I started to think about taking him to the UMC if it gets one step more serious than this.
***
The Enlightenment
It was Friday morning and I was once again running late for my PE all the way at PLS over a kilometer away from the dorms. A Written Examination was about to take place so I was walking as fast as I could in my PE shorts and shirt.
My friend already woke up and he looked okay enough. My room mate Kyle would help him.
At PLS, when I arrived on the bleachers area my name was the first one to be called for attendance. Woah! Talk about "JUST IN TIME."
After the written examination my classmates played basketball and volleyball. They all looked happy. All of them had a smile. I was there on the bleachers by myself thinking again.
We had a practice at Tintin's Dorm at the bayan for our Reed103: Church performance. I expressed my problems to Tintin and Cindy and when Jhen, Wilda and her boyfriend Jay Carl came over, we began to practice.
When we performed, it was sort of weird. We tried to cover up the windows of the room with newspapers and even a blanket. Tintin and Jhen were so serious about dimming the room while I was standing there laughing my head off. They franticly taped newspapers to the windows but it probably dimmed the room... um what... 10%? Hahaha. I brought my "Push-light" (as seen on TV) and Jhen slammed it and said "(VOILA) THE ENLIGHTENMENT!!!".
I also noticed Wilda holding a flashlight. Goodness sakes. Our topic was "The Englightenment" and "Vatican I" and we had flashlights to explain it.
At least we got to perform and according to Teenah, it was all okay we just had a hard time explaining it. I would recall our presentation as one of the "oddest ones I've ever been part of."
The Sun, Rain, Clouds, and All
After Art Appreciation in JFH 306a (the freaky Psychology Observation Room) we went out into the hallway and then I saw the most beautiful sight I've ever seen this year.
It was raining so hard but the Sun was behind the hazy clouds in the sky. From the third floor of JFH we looked down at the grounds and saw the trees of DLSU-D and the SBC and the students downstairs at the kubos. Everything was like in SEPIA film color. It was amazing. Then, Rona was there and looking outwards.
I left my digital camera in the dorms, but if I saw that sight... God... it was just beautiful. It took my worries away for just that moment.
Like in my Freshmen Year, "Sukob na... umulan umaaraw..." it was one of those moments under the rain. We were on the way to the stalls and it was raining at the same time it was sunny at the same time it was cloudy. It was like a giant jungle park as we made our way to the stalls from JFH.
After getting our handouts I was with Teenah, Maycee, and Upper on the way to square canteen. We ate and discussed the hectic week we had all had.
My friend had gone home already. I went to my dorm and began to pack up. I was picked up...
***
If I could be a hero, I wish I can take away all the pain my friend is suffering. The words he said continue to echo in my head. The scenes when he collapsed still repeat in my head.
There's just so much potential I see my friend as a student of AB Com and as my own dorm mate. I just know we have so many stories yet to share to each other related to our two courses and our department.
Without my friend, all the excitement, fun, hardships, and challenges of the AB Com/Broadjourn lifestyle will just be during the school hours. In the evening when I return to the dorms, I can't share those things to anyone since no one else in the Men's dorm are Broadjourn or AB Com.
Get well my friend. I am person who loves to talk with people.
WE still have so much to talk about.
St. John Baptist de La Salle, Pray for us.
Live Jesus in our Hearts, Forever.
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