Sunday, March 13, 2005
I'M ON LIFE SUPPORT
Out of (in)sanity, I ended up posting a message on the Friendster bulletin board last night: "bakit ganon... the people you love don't take notice of you. it happened before. and now it's happening again. fcuk."
It generated two responses, one from Joam (my former dorm mate) and another from Nippon (an AB Com acquaintance). Joam said something like "just let the girl know!" while Nippon said something like "whenever that happens to me, just to see them happy makes me happy..."
Well guys, thanks. It's embarassing that I posted something like that, but hey, it's from the heart and to have people actually reply to that is touching. It's not bothering me anymore though, but something else is...
To the vehicles of my recently activated life support system:
TOPE- My Puerto beach brother! The first one I found confidence in after my situation started last year. You were busy in the past few weeks with that Diana Ross production but now I'm glad it's over so you can finally catch your breath again. Thanks for keeping me in check and functioning properly.
KATE- My thesis partner! Don't worry we'll finish the thesis requirements for the defense on Thursday and march onwards into the summer months to finish this study of the OBB. Thanks for always being on standby for me, putting up with my daily life struggles, my heart struggles, and for maintaining so much patience with me.
ARJAY- I hope what happened last week with opening up with each other really brings out a greater bond between us. Congratulations on being elected as the next president of Teatro Lasalliana. Good luck with Gising Kabitenyo!
ROM- You made me laugh on the phone so many times earlier. For once I felt so relieved and comfortable in this offset miserable time. You don't even know I'm sad right now, but you heard my sorrow through my voice and you're persistent conversation lightened me up. Thanks for singing "Iris" and a medley of OPM songs on the phone earlier, nobody's done that before.And surprise, surprise...an essential part of my life support...
LEAH- These times are really hard for us. It's amazing we even have a chance to actually get on the phone and talk things through. We've had so many waves crash into us, but we're still two crabs crawling on the beach. Whatever happens next, I just hope it unleashes better times for the three of us.--
Ano nangyari sa buhok mo?!
I got a haircut and it's too damn short! I don't want to show my face in front of people! I look like a little kid again. I had it at SM Dasma's GQ barber shop and enjoyed my first hot oil treatment after my scalp was drying up with having long hair for months.
I hope it's a fresh restart for the summer. I'm planning on having it grow out again, but this time I want to perfect it's shape and make it proportionate to my bamboo-shaped figure. Hehe.
--
Rom's singing
As usual, every weekend I'd recieve a phone call from my high school buddy Rom. Sometimes I get annoyed when he calls for no apparant reason other than to ask that same question ("Ano balita?"), but this evening his call had me laughing.
We were talking about bars, clubs, Malate, Libis, going out, having a night of fun, and just being out there. Before ending the call, he wanted to sing first. I requested "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. He sang the chorus and then sang a medley of popular OPM songs lately.
How, how could you say you love me
When you will go and leave me
How could you make me hurt so bad
I was smiling on the other end of the phone. No one's ever sung for me on the phone before! Thanks Rom for cheering me up, you definitely became part of that life support system I've put up.
--
Flying abandonedly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Oh, fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
These are the lyrics someone shared to me before and I guess it's appropriate to bring them back now. I'm not a big fan of Mariah (with exception to her latest hit "It's Like That"), but this song really does have intense meaning.
The sunny spring skies of March is so superficial. What lies within me these days are floods of debris like a tsunami swept by. What lies within me are gloomy skies and black and white photos of better days.
During one of Rom's mumblings and rants on the phone earlier, he did say one phrase that stood out and struck me like lightning.
"Remember George happiness comes from the self, hindi galing 'yan sa iba."
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