Thursday, June 13, 2002
A Lonely Night in and around the National Park that is DLSU-D
Well, today has been one long day. I'm burned out now. All that fun this week, all those feelings spinning around as I start college... all just flattens out right now. Kinda boring. After I typed the previous post at the DLSU-D internet center, I went over to the Square Canteen and got myself my first take-out dinner. In my dorm I was all alone again. I hate to be paranoid with all this "loneliness" crap- but I'm sure you all know how I feel like. It's when you have so much fun and you're with so many people and then suddenly they all go away and you end up alone and there's nothing to do. (well, there's much to do online for me... but wala naman computer sa dorm, at wala pang internet access).
I'm working on my tagalog now. I'm beginning to see a comparison between how my High School started compared to my College this week. It's all hype in the beginning with friends that don't stop with the whole "why do you speak english?" kind of stories... then within a month If I don't speak Tagalog or maintain a sense of renewal... then I'll fade into the background and neutralize myself too much that I end up repeating my last days of High School once again. That damn stage where I've become so neutral that I cancel my existence.
So after eating at my dorm and spending one lonely hour by the radio... Lance finally came and we decided to head outside to 7-11. After that we went straight to NetOPia or whatever this place is called.
I hate going outside of the campus at night. I will hopefully adjust to it... but being far from home, living outside my real home in that warm town of Tanza... and having to go to a third party destination at night is just something I don't like. There are countless cigarette butts in the filty air conditioned water drops outside. In the 7-11, the setting isn't clean it's dirty. Some street kid without shoes enters.... dirt everywhere. The lack of lighting in the alleys... it's not my enviroment. It's Chope's. =)
I'm reaching 20/30 minutes now on my time here in the cafe. So good night now and tomorrow, I hope I be uplifted again to end this week with a bang.
Well, today has been one long day. I'm burned out now. All that fun this week, all those feelings spinning around as I start college... all just flattens out right now. Kinda boring. After I typed the previous post at the DLSU-D internet center, I went over to the Square Canteen and got myself my first take-out dinner. In my dorm I was all alone again. I hate to be paranoid with all this "loneliness" crap- but I'm sure you all know how I feel like. It's when you have so much fun and you're with so many people and then suddenly they all go away and you end up alone and there's nothing to do. (well, there's much to do online for me... but wala naman computer sa dorm, at wala pang internet access).
I'm working on my tagalog now. I'm beginning to see a comparison between how my High School started compared to my College this week. It's all hype in the beginning with friends that don't stop with the whole "why do you speak english?" kind of stories... then within a month If I don't speak Tagalog or maintain a sense of renewal... then I'll fade into the background and neutralize myself too much that I end up repeating my last days of High School once again. That damn stage where I've become so neutral that I cancel my existence.
So after eating at my dorm and spending one lonely hour by the radio... Lance finally came and we decided to head outside to 7-11. After that we went straight to NetOPia or whatever this place is called.
I hate going outside of the campus at night. I will hopefully adjust to it... but being far from home, living outside my real home in that warm town of Tanza... and having to go to a third party destination at night is just something I don't like. There are countless cigarette butts in the filty air conditioned water drops outside. In the 7-11, the setting isn't clean it's dirty. Some street kid without shoes enters.... dirt everywhere. The lack of lighting in the alleys... it's not my enviroment. It's Chope's. =)
I'm reaching 20/30 minutes now on my time here in the cafe. So good night now and tomorrow, I hope I be uplifted again to end this week with a bang.
Comments:
Post a Comment