Monday, February 17, 2003
Killing Me Slowly
(to whom this may concern -- absolute silence is your reaction)
I know you probably don't realize it. I know you're a very happy person. I know you love your friends. And that's what kills me. We're so similar. We love our friends. We treasure them. We both have been looking for the right person to be our best friend. That's what kills me again. You've found one, and I'm left to keep searching. The right person to accept the knowledge of our unique lives. The right person to have that backstage pass to our day-to-day business. The right person we could pour our trust in. Knowing that this person, will go the extra mile in being friends.
I met you this past semester. We share so many things in common. One time, in this great search, I gave up. I said to myself "I wish I could just duplicate myself." Now, there's you. The same funny sarcasm. The same desire to have friends. Even a similar background and past.
It kills me so slowly. Knowing you and seeing you in front of me everyday. I'm concerned and want to know if you're okay. I don't want any good friend of mine experiencing problems. At one point I was about to break up just like the Columbia Spaceshuttle into Earth's Orbit. I couldn't stand it anymore that I'm left searching for someone else, when all hope for another person to fill in these shoes is like searching for a needle in three acres of rice fields. It took me ages to find someone I think I could just hang out with. I found this person, but then again, this person is already dedicated to someone else.
I'm not jealous and I'm not envious. Those would describe those darker days back in High School. Right now, I'm just happy that you found what you've been looking for. A best friend. And a girl. You're situated in a good place. I just wish you'd understand my problem and encourage me to wait for my turn. Carpe Diem.
To the person who you've found. The friend, not the girl. "You are lucky. Take care of each other. Work together like the buddy system back during the Vietnam War. Watch each other's backs. Don't let anyone drown. Stay cool."
In the end, this isn't love. This is friendship and my obesession with it.
For those concerned, thank you. All I ask is your understanding and some luck on this little journey of mine. Nothing more.
(to whom this may concern -- absolute silence is your reaction)
I know you probably don't realize it. I know you're a very happy person. I know you love your friends. And that's what kills me. We're so similar. We love our friends. We treasure them. We both have been looking for the right person to be our best friend. That's what kills me again. You've found one, and I'm left to keep searching. The right person to accept the knowledge of our unique lives. The right person to have that backstage pass to our day-to-day business. The right person we could pour our trust in. Knowing that this person, will go the extra mile in being friends.
I met you this past semester. We share so many things in common. One time, in this great search, I gave up. I said to myself "I wish I could just duplicate myself." Now, there's you. The same funny sarcasm. The same desire to have friends. Even a similar background and past.
It kills me so slowly. Knowing you and seeing you in front of me everyday. I'm concerned and want to know if you're okay. I don't want any good friend of mine experiencing problems. At one point I was about to break up just like the Columbia Spaceshuttle into Earth's Orbit. I couldn't stand it anymore that I'm left searching for someone else, when all hope for another person to fill in these shoes is like searching for a needle in three acres of rice fields. It took me ages to find someone I think I could just hang out with. I found this person, but then again, this person is already dedicated to someone else.
I'm not jealous and I'm not envious. Those would describe those darker days back in High School. Right now, I'm just happy that you found what you've been looking for. A best friend. And a girl. You're situated in a good place. I just wish you'd understand my problem and encourage me to wait for my turn. Carpe Diem.
To the person who you've found. The friend, not the girl. "You are lucky. Take care of each other. Work together like the buddy system back during the Vietnam War. Watch each other's backs. Don't let anyone drown. Stay cool."
In the end, this isn't love. This is friendship and my obesession with it.
For those concerned, thank you. All I ask is your understanding and some luck on this little journey of mine. Nothing more.
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