Monday, May 12, 2003
A Change of Mood
Woah, what an entry earlier. Short and shocking. Well, it's ok if it was short. But was it shocking? Did anyone suddenly skip a beat when they heard me say "shitheads"? I didn't have that much of a good day today. I realized some things again that I put behind me. Certain disappointments came back and haunted me at the same time one visit to the office sent me on fire. Of "36 total staffers going to Year-End Seminar", I was listed below the instructions after #36 along with three others who probably have sentiments of leaving the place.
How the hell did I get listed with those who might be leaving the press room? How the fucking hell did that happen? I kept my cool as best as I could with my two co-staffers that are my classmates. I wanted to ask questions and break the silence, but I also didn't want to be rude in asking. I guess, right now, there's no harm in asking. I am a journalism student. What kind of a journalist am I going to be if I can't ask questions?
Bullshit.
Yes, I'm a bit angry. This is the first time I've declared that and in a manner that isn't related to a friendship or a grade or a family problem. I'm angry and frustrated at myself. This year (2003) hasn't been great so far. I've fallen out of the loop and now I don't have frontrow seats of a course I love so much. I'm more of the "just in the crowd" now.
I still pour my heart and soul into God's hands. I believe he has set another path for me. That's the only way I can seem to explain the things around me these past few weeks. I put my trust in God and I want to mention it right now, broadcasted into this blog for anyone and everyone to see.
And I lay my hands down and pray.
Woah, what an entry earlier. Short and shocking. Well, it's ok if it was short. But was it shocking? Did anyone suddenly skip a beat when they heard me say "shitheads"? I didn't have that much of a good day today. I realized some things again that I put behind me. Certain disappointments came back and haunted me at the same time one visit to the office sent me on fire. Of "36 total staffers going to Year-End Seminar", I was listed below the instructions after #36 along with three others who probably have sentiments of leaving the place.
How the hell did I get listed with those who might be leaving the press room? How the fucking hell did that happen? I kept my cool as best as I could with my two co-staffers that are my classmates. I wanted to ask questions and break the silence, but I also didn't want to be rude in asking. I guess, right now, there's no harm in asking. I am a journalism student. What kind of a journalist am I going to be if I can't ask questions?
Bullshit.
Yes, I'm a bit angry. This is the first time I've declared that and in a manner that isn't related to a friendship or a grade or a family problem. I'm angry and frustrated at myself. This year (2003) hasn't been great so far. I've fallen out of the loop and now I don't have frontrow seats of a course I love so much. I'm more of the "just in the crowd" now.
I still pour my heart and soul into God's hands. I believe he has set another path for me. That's the only way I can seem to explain the things around me these past few weeks. I put my trust in God and I want to mention it right now, broadcasted into this blog for anyone and everyone to see.
And I lay my hands down and pray.
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