Thursday, August 28, 2003
DAY 3 of the MIDTERMS - WISHING ON A PLANET
We spoke together about movies and facts while gazing at Mars...
I officially screwed up my Midterms like my Prelims, great...
I'm at NEBO right now. Yes, it's NEBO after thinking it's NERO for the past week and a half. We've been recent addictive surfers here. I haven't been to the DLSU-D ERS for ages now. The internet here is fast... I think it's DSL or Satelite or something.
Anyways, I didn't review last night after I crashed into my dorm room tired of another hectic day. Lance approached and sat next to my bed and then we started talking about the tropa and of our own linkages to the past.
I don't want to talk much about the past anymore. It hurts just to think about it. Eric Salta has his own close friends in his days in High School... they were also a total of seven. Eric tells me how they get together on weekends, how they go to each other's houses a lot... and right now among the seven in our "G7" it doesn't happen like that. It's sad how we've grown so distant now. I have no idea where Candy is right now and that in itself is a tunnel of mysteries and rumors.
I do know that Joy moved in with Nikki and the two are at a Boarding house. Bryan came from the states and returned. Then there's Erika who changed schools. And Lance and I here in DLSU-D.
Well... anyways, we also spoke about the tropa and I told Lance about the potentially "deadly" Vicious cycle that could happen to me soon. It's this part of me that feels neglected (not in any way connected to High School, but throughout my life in general here in the Philippines) that might push me to lessen the warmth of friendship I love giving to others.
Like I said before, when I feel that energy I give out to them isn't reciprocated properly back to me (not everyone has the capacity to reciprocate what I give to them and I totally accept that)... I feel I'll lose that warmth bit by bit until I become bitter.
Then it returns to that age old problem of mine. A Best Friend to be there for me and always be the last one to leave the room with me. Well... no one has been able to do exactly that... er... someone kinda has but when he gets a girlfriend... he's the type who'll be like my best friend in High School... zealously dedicated to the girl, seemingly no space for the best friend...
Then there's my friend Aldrich... who I thought had all those qualities but suddenly in the end I saw it's "all my time is for my best friend, and no time to reach out to the others" kind of thing.
I believe I can have it both ways. I can be a best friend to someone at the same time hang out with all the dawgz in the dorms... co-staffers at HF... co-producers at the Channel... and of course my classmates.
No one is perfect. I absolutely know that. And I accept people for who they are. And the thing my high school best friend (who went abroad) taught me was "to lessen the expectations".
So I do lessen the expectations and since I did that, I'm not as possessive as I was in High School.
So, if we continue solving this equation we would get that a best friend would be the one to reciprocate "the energy" back to me.
Well... um... it isn't exactly happening and the fate of my happiness with everyone hangs in the balance...
Would somebody please save me. I've stood strong for over a year and I never asked anyone to save me before... and if there was a time to ask someone to save me, now would be the time...
***
The Speech exam was disastrous. I answered everything to what I know but I missed the "Principles of Gestures" in the Identification. That was worth three points.
Kate, Badge, Ayesha, and I ate out at Inazalle. Tasty BBQ. After eating there Badge and Ayesha returned to the CLASC for a Broadjourn Program Council meeting and Kate went to the Heraldo Filipino.
I went here to NEBO by myself and thinking I would be here among strangers. Pagpasok ko, lahat sila nandito! Joel, then Len... tapos salikod sila Abbie, Lance... even Jhecc of Heraldo Filipino! Tapos, after surfing awhile pumasok dito sila Kuya Mikoy ng CLASC. Wow. Completo tayo dito. Ang saya saya... Hahaha.
We spoke together about movies and facts while gazing at Mars...
I officially screwed up my Midterms like my Prelims, great...
I'm at NEBO right now. Yes, it's NEBO after thinking it's NERO for the past week and a half. We've been recent addictive surfers here. I haven't been to the DLSU-D ERS for ages now. The internet here is fast... I think it's DSL or Satelite or something.
Anyways, I didn't review last night after I crashed into my dorm room tired of another hectic day. Lance approached and sat next to my bed and then we started talking about the tropa and of our own linkages to the past.
I don't want to talk much about the past anymore. It hurts just to think about it. Eric Salta has his own close friends in his days in High School... they were also a total of seven. Eric tells me how they get together on weekends, how they go to each other's houses a lot... and right now among the seven in our "G7" it doesn't happen like that. It's sad how we've grown so distant now. I have no idea where Candy is right now and that in itself is a tunnel of mysteries and rumors.
I do know that Joy moved in with Nikki and the two are at a Boarding house. Bryan came from the states and returned. Then there's Erika who changed schools. And Lance and I here in DLSU-D.
Well... anyways, we also spoke about the tropa and I told Lance about the potentially "deadly" Vicious cycle that could happen to me soon. It's this part of me that feels neglected (not in any way connected to High School, but throughout my life in general here in the Philippines) that might push me to lessen the warmth of friendship I love giving to others.
Like I said before, when I feel that energy I give out to them isn't reciprocated properly back to me (not everyone has the capacity to reciprocate what I give to them and I totally accept that)... I feel I'll lose that warmth bit by bit until I become bitter.
Then it returns to that age old problem of mine. A Best Friend to be there for me and always be the last one to leave the room with me. Well... no one has been able to do exactly that... er... someone kinda has but when he gets a girlfriend... he's the type who'll be like my best friend in High School... zealously dedicated to the girl, seemingly no space for the best friend...
Then there's my friend Aldrich... who I thought had all those qualities but suddenly in the end I saw it's "all my time is for my best friend, and no time to reach out to the others" kind of thing.
I believe I can have it both ways. I can be a best friend to someone at the same time hang out with all the dawgz in the dorms... co-staffers at HF... co-producers at the Channel... and of course my classmates.
No one is perfect. I absolutely know that. And I accept people for who they are. And the thing my high school best friend (who went abroad) taught me was "to lessen the expectations".
So I do lessen the expectations and since I did that, I'm not as possessive as I was in High School.
So, if we continue solving this equation we would get that a best friend would be the one to reciprocate "the energy" back to me.
Well... um... it isn't exactly happening and the fate of my happiness with everyone hangs in the balance...
Would somebody please save me. I've stood strong for over a year and I never asked anyone to save me before... and if there was a time to ask someone to save me, now would be the time...
***
The Speech exam was disastrous. I answered everything to what I know but I missed the "Principles of Gestures" in the Identification. That was worth three points.
Kate, Badge, Ayesha, and I ate out at Inazalle. Tasty BBQ. After eating there Badge and Ayesha returned to the CLASC for a Broadjourn Program Council meeting and Kate went to the Heraldo Filipino.
I went here to NEBO by myself and thinking I would be here among strangers. Pagpasok ko, lahat sila nandito! Joel, then Len... tapos salikod sila Abbie, Lance... even Jhecc of Heraldo Filipino! Tapos, after surfing awhile pumasok dito sila Kuya Mikoy ng CLASC. Wow. Completo tayo dito. Ang saya saya... Hahaha.
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