Sunday, December 21, 2003
UNCRIED TEARS FOR PUTO BUMBONG
The Damage Report - Year 2 - Ending Week #25
Background Music: "All I Want For Christmas" by Mariah Carey
NOTE: This is a weekly blog entry that summarizes a series of events of a finished week in and around La Salle.
THE schedule of the Prelim exams this past week only added to the freetime. The week was different in its entirety. There wasn't a single subject that needed heavy study.
Simbang Gabi started this week. I had no idea Anthony Castelltort aka Tony, would be a zealous follower of the nine mornings of prayer prior to Christmas. Seeing him with the initiative to get up 3 o'clock in the morning each day was something I never expected from that puyatin fellow. (parang hindi ako ganon)
From Monday up until Friday, it was exams and no classes. Monday's exam was Logic in the afternoon. Tuesday to Thursday had one exam each in the morning and on Friday, two exams in the morning.
Most of them were cheese. Due to the current things going on around my life recently, I wasn't in the mood to study hard. I studied, and I'm expecting normal results. Just the average to keep it flowing. (in other words: Sayang. I could have gotten 90s out of these exams if I was more dedicated to my studies.)
What damn issues are going on?
As cold as the Soviet winds as it sweeps across the hills of Dasmarinas. A feeling of emptiness was just impaling me throughout the week. It was getting worse each day.
***
Monday - Mission to get the Permit
- Payed the tuition fee
- Took the Logic exam
- Did not go with Tony to the first Simbang Gabi
***
Tuesday - My First Simbang Gabi
- Went with Tony to the second Simbang Gabi
Basically I didn't sleep. What sleep? Sleep doesn't exist in our dorm room with all the activities going on. What activities? Basic kwentuhan. Bar Room jokes. Occasional back massage. Playing on Alex's laptop. Eating late night dinners by cooking rice and pouring Century tuna on top of it.
It's just exciting in the dorms. It's like an endless sleepover. It isn't boring at any time in our room. I'm already a 2nd year college student and still dorm life feels fresh and vibrant with fun.
With all that fun I was talking about, I decided not to go to sleep. We usually sleep around 3 o'clock in the morning. But it was also 3 o'clock in the morning that Tony would get up and go to Simbang Gabi.
It was around 2:45am I decided I would just catch up on sleep later on and attend my first Simbang Gabi. I woke Tony up (he was asleep for about eight minutes only) and we all got ready.
Lance also tagged along. It was three of us. We went to the e-house but found out that the sisters already left. A group of three girls was also leaving the e-house, so we joined them as we walked briskly towards Magdalo Gate (Gate 1). We crossed the street and got on an Area-1 jeepnee. I thought we were going to the Bayan, but Tony said the night before they went to the Perpetual Church.
Traffic in Kadiwa at 4 o'clock in the morning. Woah. We arrived at the church and it was loaded with lots of sleepy looking people. There were masses of people everywhere. They were already standing in crowds outside the church.
I was surprised when Tony kept leading the way into the crowd. We cruised like a boat in a storm into the church just to get to this stairwell on the rightside. It so happens Tony was leading Lance and I to the 2nd floor where we encountered the radical sister of the e-house (the nicest most practical and most modern sister there is... heheh). She gave us a welcoming smile and just seconds after we positioned ourselves on these seats next to the church's choir... the mass began.
It was my first simbang gabi and I was with my best friend Lance and my close friend Tony.
After the mass we went downstairs, it was still dark of course. We ordered Puto Bumbong, the symbollic highlight of this examination week, and commuted back to La Salle with sister and one girl dormer.
The three of us ate our Puto Bumbongs in Tony's room (F7). I wish I had a digicam to capture it, but I was so tired at that time.
We went into F3 just when the sun started to shine.
***
Wednesday - Christmas Shopping at G4
After an easy exam in Computer at 10 o'clock in the morning, Joel picked Abbie, JJ, and me up at the dorms. We were headed for Glorietta 4! Abbie had to go to get her 7650 fixed. JJ just wanted to go. Joel just wanted to go. I wanted to go Christmas shopping and looking for gifts for certain people and a SO.
Joel's military driver was just so rough at driving. We were also stuffed on the backseat of the 4x4 truck. We arrived at G4 and looked for a place to eat. Eventually we ended up inside CPK or the California Pizza Kitchen. I had no idea we were going to eat there and that the food there was just too expensive for a brief trip to the mall. I mean, we can eat there with family or with friends on special occasions, but to spend about Php 500.00 for one decent lunch wasn't practical for me.
JJ surprised us when he suddenly said he'll shoulder the bill. Whaaaat?! That was insane! He was paying for all four of us. That is something I'll never forget. He said it'll be his early Christmas gift for all of us. Awww. Thanks JJ! That just made me shut up about complaining how expensive lunch was.
We went around the mall. Abbie toured Mango and Topshop. It was fun going with Abbie as she shopped. I think she enjoyed it too. What made it enjoyable? Iono... perhaps being around her and her fashion-model aura just made us feel so professional. So elite. So up there. It's like, we could go anywhere we wanted when we were all together. It was like "There's no stopping us. There's no stopping Abbie!"
I fulfilled that Starbucks Mocca Frap craving and afterwards we went separate ways in the mall to go hunting for gifts. I was looking for a gift for Badge. I wanted to give two things to her: (1) A 2004 Calendar of CSI or Alias, which are two shows she really like. -and- (2) Something more personal for someone I want for a SO... like a teddy bear or a box of chocolates (an early Valentines?!).
Joel joined me as we scavaged all four Glorietta sectors in search of anything CSI or Alias. We continued into every single bookstore, magazine store, collectors store out there... and to no avail.
I gave up my search since we were running on the deadline, which was set at 6:30pm. We all met up in front of McDo inside G4 and headed straight for the bus terminal only to find crowds of people in very long lines trying to board buses. We found the Dasmariñas line and got in it. We were all starving, but we couldn't leave the line.
We couldn't get on a bus for almost two hours. If we got on a bus the moment we got there, we would have made it before curfew at the dorms in La Salle. But since we left just before 8 o'clock in the evening, we had to call and txt our dorm mates to make paalam to the e-house that we'll be late.
I contacted Lance, Tony, and Aldrich. The first two received no information from me, I wonder why. Aldrich, however, received it and made paalam.
When we entered Cavite, I suddenly had the urge to use the bathroom and urinate. I thought I could control it, but by the time we were reaching Imus it was starting to lose control. I could have bursted any moment! JJ too had to use the bathroom. By Salitran I thought I was going to yell "PAAAAAARAAAA!!!" to the driver and dash off the bus and urinate in some open field... but then I said that would be so unethical. Then I said holding it was also unethical. Aaahhh! I clutched Joel and told him "Joel, we have to stop the bus at the next gas station on this [right] side of the road."
He nodded. I managed to hold it but it was just so painful. The bus made a turn for Dasma Bayan and I told Joel "We have to get off here." I don't know if I could last the confusing streets of bayan, where there are many homes and you can't urinate near them.
When we got off, I saw Superspeed... the premiere bar and resto for Lasallians in Dasmariñas. I also saw a light shining down on it from the skies, as if it was the answer to my question of where to urinate. As if it was the one to take all my pain away.
I crossed the street and we entered Superspeed. The usual crowd was there. That scent of smoke in the atmosphere. The two or three barkadas playing Billiards or in the corner drinking. I didn't wanted to make it obvious that I wanted to use the bathroom so badly, so I pulled a Teatro on them by pretending I was looking for someone. I even took out my 7650 pretending I'm calling someone inside Speed.
I walked calmly to the bathroom and inside I dashed for the urinal.
About what seemed like five years later, I emerged out of the bathroom so relieved. I pretended once more I was looking for someone. I was txting a blank message and saving it to the drafts folder of my 7650. We left Speed.
We returned to the dorms and I dropped Abbie to the e-house. We also made paalam again to Ate Verna, who was there. She said the e-house was informed and that we wearn't going to be curfewed. Wheeeeew. Thanks Aldrich! We love you.
***
Thursday - Madness at Robinsons Imus
After the exam, we decided to go to Robinsons Imus. It was my last chance to buy her a gift. Abbie, Leah, Eric, and Mark joined me. Huh? Let me repeat that to make sure it's correct. Abbie, Leah, Eric, and Mark. One more time. Abbie, Leah, Eric AND Mark.
Not Mark my classmate, but Mark my dorm mate and good friend. Basta, it was an unbelievable party of five. We even had a studio picture which I also couldn't forget.
The photographer: "Ok... you [points at Mark] lipat kayong dalawa [points at Eric, who is next to Leah]."
I was smiling at Abbie at the time. No offense. It's just strange for me how I feel like I'm in the middle of it all, again. The closest guy I am to in class and a good friend of mine at the dorm. The latter all singing "Maybe". It was also the latter that said he wanted to get to know the Eric more.
At the Body Shop, I bought my mom a gift which was a Melon Seed shower-wash something... I also bought shower gloves for her. Then, I bought Badge a Moonflower perfume. Abbie and Leah said it smells so good... and they're both Cancerians just like Badge.
There was this Miss Imus pageant thing going on. I saw Mark of COM2-2 like three times in the mall. I bought Jezire and Kate these scented Bench hand sanitizers. It's not just AlcoGel ok... it's a specially scented hand sanitizer!
We left the mall and didn't watch a movie since there wasn't a good movie. We returned to La Salle and ate at OCC or "Over a Cup of Coffee", which is the latest place to eat we've found near La Salle (it's in front of Gate 4, further than the old Jatayna's). I had a San Mig Light after writing up a Christmas Card to Tony.
Past curfew in the dorms we enjoyed the last night of dorming in the year 2003. I wanted to go to Simbang Gabi again with Tony but I was just drained of energy.
I finished up writing my Christmas notes on the backs of Christmas tags. I also wrote to Lance and to the others... then I fell asleep.
***
Friday - Delicious Food in San Pedro, Laguna
World Litt was okay while Intro to Broadcasting was nakakaloko with the trivia question "Unscramble the following letters to form just one word." The letters were ROOWENDUJTS. The answer was "justoneword". Bullshit! Hahaha. The proctor was nice and Sir was there taunting the classroom as always. Eventually the latter 40% that finished the exam got the trivia question answer for free.
Afterwards we exchanged Christmas greetings and farewells to each other at the kubo downstairs. I gave Badge my Christmas gift to her and she had to go home, guess she wasn't going to Jezire's. I was "STUCK IN A MOMENT" and "I CAN'T GET OUT OF IT."
I was there staring at Badge as she left. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to drop her to the gate. I wanted to just be with her. But the level of "ilang" between us has grown so much now it's like opposing magnets. I was fighting it. I was trying to go with the flow and just be with her. But I couldn't. I failed.
Whatever happens, I will never let our friendship be affected. Never. It's just in her hands if she's willing to take the risk (if there is a serious risk) with me. It's in her hands to agree if our friendship is to be affected. Because on my half of the moon, all my powers will preserve our friendship. I have so many friends out there and they can be examples of how I love friendship. I want not "More than a Friend" but "A friend and more." Gets people?!
*pop*
I rode with Ryan & Rona in their van. Shiela, Ate Angge, Jezire, Joy Andrea, Joanna and her boyfriend Homer, would be riding. We arrived at Jezire's. Her house is just so cute.
The food, even better.
I was in love with the food. No chicken was more tastier. No BBQ on a stick was more mouth-watering. No spaghetti and meat sauce tasted more original. I love my mom's cooking, but for someone who isn't my mom, the food at Jezire's was just to die for!
I kept going to the table carelessly. I ate crispy lumpias with that perfect sweet and sour sauce. The juice was just a perfect way to wash all that good food down.
I met Jezire's older brother and he taught me things about my 7650 that I never knew. Jezire's mom also spoke to me. I felt a little weird because I had a feeling that her mom knows me through all her kwento's. I mean... so how does her mom look at me?
I complimented Jezire's mom and asked if they owned a restaurant. Heheh.
On the way back home, we were already running late for Hard Rock Cafe at G4 with the International Students Association. I was going to be late by about an hour, and Sir Sieg txt'd that they can't wait for me and they have to go ahead because they have to meet people in Manila.
The route we took back to Cavite was weird. We went up the South Luzon Superhighway and got off at Alabang. We then passed Festival and ATC and entered this short-cut place. It involved kilometers of estates-road which had no street lights. It was just so dark. We emerged into Bacoor, Cavite. It was another adventure inside of vehicle.
Upon arrival at DLSU-D, It became clear to me that it wasn't practical that having coming from Manila... we had to commute to G4 (about a 2 hour journey) and spend roughly Php 1,000 at Hard Rock Cafe. It was late and we were tired and I was already full.
I told this to Lance. I told him I didn't want to go to Hard Rock Cafe anymore. I felt bad, because I told him to wait for me at La Salle and not join the rest of the ISA peeps. He waited for me and then suddenly I changed my mind and decide not to go. I'm sorry Lance...
Instead, I joined Rona and company in watching "Ay Puke!" at Inasal. It would be my 2nd time to watch. The scenes are a bit revised and the blockings are different now. There's even a fifth vagina monologue in the middle.
Karl and gang (yep, it's begun... Karl has harvested the other english speaking guys of the dorm into this giant group of people) were at Cyberkada. I joined them afterwards and found out later that they were all heading for Ed's apartment to go drinking.
Good for them. I went to 7-11 with Lance and Basil. Paolo Castor, a classmate from way back in 2nd Year High School... suddenly tapped me on the back. We shook hands and exchanged a few words. He was with a friend and they were buying lots of Red Horse.
Guess I was the only one (Lance and Basil too) that wasn't going to drink.
We returned on-campus around 1030pm and the guard didn't mind the curfew since there were no more classes. We all went to my room (F3).
I had a long talk with Lance. We were both lying down. Dhenevoy told me about how he got busted from his girlfriend. How he loves her so much but he didn't even shed a tear and he's wondering why. Basil kept eating these slices of chocolate bread which he also mixed with peanut butter and prawn chips... woah.
It was lonely at the dorm. Barely anyone was there now. It was just us at that time. Alex's bed and all his things were gone (he packed out everything). Kyle's messy bed was still there, but he wasn't at that time.
I fell asleep.
***
Saturday - The Loneliest Saturday
I woke up in the early afternoon. Lance packed up and was gone. So was Tom. Basil was out of sight. I woke up to see Kyle lying down in his bed, still asleep.
Even with Kyle physically being there, I never felt so isolated and alone. It was a Silent Saturday and my pick-up came around 5pm. For three hours I was there in the empty dorms.
The only things that entered my mind was Badge, Lance, and Tony. Lance, Badge, and Tony. Tony, Badge, and Lance.
Badge... how hollow I felt. I admit I feel empty and out of energy sometimes when there isn't much of response from the other side.
Lance... he's leaving the Philippines for good. I already know his decision even if it isn't final yet.
Tony... I gave him this Christmas card that stated that I see him as another best friend to me. I had no idea putting that in the card was like stamping my heart onto it... and later on... not getting it back.
A girl, a best friend, and another potential best friend. It sounds crazy, I know. Two best friends?! It's not like that though.
Lance isn't the best friend type. I know that. He definantly knows that. The whole world should know that. As much as he's the title holder when it comes to who's the longest friend I've ever had around, it won't get anymore intimate then that. I see Lance as a best friend by default since there's nobody else out there who's listened to me for this long and knows more of me for this long.
Tony, on the other hand, has every characteristic that seems to echo who I am. Love of friends. Active in extracurriculars. Interested in AB Comm/Broadjourn (because he is an AB Comm student). He dorms. He's around. And there's something about him that puzzles me up to now. He has a problem that he's just not talking to anyone about... or, at least, not to me about.
***
This is the last "The Damage Report" for the year 2003.
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