Thursday, April 08, 2004
Switching Off My Lighthouse
A reflection for this Holy Week 2004
I was with a bunch of my closest friends as we partied the night long. Dancing to the beat of the drums after enjoying a number of sizzling plates of sisig and other native dishes. The lanterns famous of this beach setting and the sound of the waves smashing onto the distant seashore only made me want to dance more and drink harder. I was doing this to keep myself warm and away from that crisp and moonlit surrounding that lay outside.
The dancefloor reached a point where it was too steamy and too hot to even breathe in. I had to go outside to get a rejuvinating amount of fresh air. I had passed two or three couples who were making out on the side of the island kubo before I landed myself in the calm of the naked air.
With whatever tipsiness I had, it only made me run like the wind with my bare feet hitting the warm sands. I ran towards the waves that was just as parallel to that thrust of life and energy building within me. I was finally free. I was carelessly leaping and jumping from time to time until I reached the seashore. I thrust myself onto the sea like a mad man and swam into the dark waters.
The mysterious ocean no longer scared me like it did before. The empty beach only fed my appetite for more. To become an independent man only hungry for more independence. It never felt so great to be with many and be alone at the same time.
I finally swam back to the shore. I had washed away what amount alcohol I had consumed when I had submerged myself into the salty sea. I sat down, drenched, and stared at the abyss of morning. No longer waiting for her to come. No longer with the need for anyone to come.
For once, I was finally happy enough to appreciate all that I've been through and all that I've done without a second thought.
***
For this Holy Week 2004, I've switched the power off from any lighthouse I've ever built... probably for good.
---
TIDBITS ALONG THE WAY - 07 APRIL 2004
Movie monster
I've been spending the past few days watching movies on all the movie channels and even some rented VCDs from the local Video City at the bayan. I've watched movies from Monster's Ball to The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. I also got to watch one of my classic favorites, The Other Side of Heaven again on Star Movies.
It feels great doing something at the same time not really doing anything. The past few months have been non-stop and I bet the months ahead will be even more intense. But now, it's like being in the eye of the storm. I can groove to the latest jams on the radio and I could sort out photo albums and picture archives on my computer. I also might want to add I haven't been doing anything dramatically new for my blog, so don't expect me to bake any of you an enormous cake at thirdcharm.
--
Breathe in, Breathe out
I started conditioning myself yesterday (that would've been Tuesday) for the weight gaining program I'm working on. I did a few push-ups and a number of crunches to get my heart beating fast. I also exercised by partying in my room by simply turning up my surround sound stereo sytem and listening to hits from N.E.R.D. to Black Eyed Peas to even The Rasmus -the Swedish rock band. Not to mention Linkin Park's "Lying From You", I could be caught dead in my room with my mouth wide open! The summer heat outside hasn't affected me much since the air condition is always on.
I've eaten the first three boiled eggs of what could be dozens, hundreds of boiled eggs to come in the next few weeks and months. I also gulped down my first glass of Enervon HP (Chocolate), you can add two glasses if you count the one I had a few minutes ago.
I've read some journal entries from 2001 and 2002 and I've always tried starting a fitness program but it has failed. So what makes it different now? I'm turning 19 this year and my determination is soaring higher than ever. I have the right roomies (Andrew, the body builder) this summer and enough time to concentrate. I mean, I'll be at the dorms this summer and it won't be as active as a normal semester... so all those summer nights hitting the gym.
--
Knights of the round table
Every night my mom is outside with my uncles as they go drinking. My Uncle Banny from Spain is still here, my Uncle Teddy from Naic Cavite is always around, and my Uncle Dhey who is a sea man has also returned. So there they are, every night outside on the round table in the Garage area.
I like having company! Even if I'm not even there. But having guests feels good rather than live these summer nights alone in this quiet sub-division.
My Uncle Banny and his wife Auntie Rema and their daughter Giovanna are staying over again. If they're in Cavite, they stay in our house. If not, they're up in their house in San Mateo, Rizal. They are occupying my mom's room. Which by the way is now completely furnished including the bathroom there. Perfect timing for them.
--
Remembering his sacrifice
I haven't watched The Passion of the Christ yet, and to say, I thought I would be in the first batch of people watching that movie! The next four days mark the highlight of the Lenten Season and Holy Week. From Maundy Thursday up until Easter Sunday. For the next three days, lots of radio stations will be off air. Television shows on the different local channels will be pre-empted. It'll be quiet, peaceful, and a time for reflection.
What will I be relflecting on for the next four days? First off, I never made any solid sacrifice yet. I've done some things, but I know it's not enough. I'm thinking this time around it'll be a sacrifice within myself. So it doesn't have to involve external things like not eating chocolate for a few days or not surfing the web.
If ever I'd try sacrificing something this Holy Week. It'll be internal. It'll be inside me.
And I still have no idea what that is.
A reflection for this Holy Week 2004
I was with a bunch of my closest friends as we partied the night long. Dancing to the beat of the drums after enjoying a number of sizzling plates of sisig and other native dishes. The lanterns famous of this beach setting and the sound of the waves smashing onto the distant seashore only made me want to dance more and drink harder. I was doing this to keep myself warm and away from that crisp and moonlit surrounding that lay outside.
The dancefloor reached a point where it was too steamy and too hot to even breathe in. I had to go outside to get a rejuvinating amount of fresh air. I had passed two or three couples who were making out on the side of the island kubo before I landed myself in the calm of the naked air.
With whatever tipsiness I had, it only made me run like the wind with my bare feet hitting the warm sands. I ran towards the waves that was just as parallel to that thrust of life and energy building within me. I was finally free. I was carelessly leaping and jumping from time to time until I reached the seashore. I thrust myself onto the sea like a mad man and swam into the dark waters.
The mysterious ocean no longer scared me like it did before. The empty beach only fed my appetite for more. To become an independent man only hungry for more independence. It never felt so great to be with many and be alone at the same time.
I finally swam back to the shore. I had washed away what amount alcohol I had consumed when I had submerged myself into the salty sea. I sat down, drenched, and stared at the abyss of morning. No longer waiting for her to come. No longer with the need for anyone to come.
For once, I was finally happy enough to appreciate all that I've been through and all that I've done without a second thought.
***
For this Holy Week 2004, I've switched the power off from any lighthouse I've ever built... probably for good.
---
TIDBITS ALONG THE WAY - 07 APRIL 2004
Movie monster
I've been spending the past few days watching movies on all the movie channels and even some rented VCDs from the local Video City at the bayan. I've watched movies from Monster's Ball to The League of Extraordinary Gentleman. I also got to watch one of my classic favorites, The Other Side of Heaven again on Star Movies.
It feels great doing something at the same time not really doing anything. The past few months have been non-stop and I bet the months ahead will be even more intense. But now, it's like being in the eye of the storm. I can groove to the latest jams on the radio and I could sort out photo albums and picture archives on my computer. I also might want to add I haven't been doing anything dramatically new for my blog, so don't expect me to bake any of you an enormous cake at thirdcharm.
--
Breathe in, Breathe out
I started conditioning myself yesterday (that would've been Tuesday) for the weight gaining program I'm working on. I did a few push-ups and a number of crunches to get my heart beating fast. I also exercised by partying in my room by simply turning up my surround sound stereo sytem and listening to hits from N.E.R.D. to Black Eyed Peas to even The Rasmus -the Swedish rock band. Not to mention Linkin Park's "Lying From You", I could be caught dead in my room with my mouth wide open! The summer heat outside hasn't affected me much since the air condition is always on.
I've eaten the first three boiled eggs of what could be dozens, hundreds of boiled eggs to come in the next few weeks and months. I also gulped down my first glass of Enervon HP (Chocolate), you can add two glasses if you count the one I had a few minutes ago.
I've read some journal entries from 2001 and 2002 and I've always tried starting a fitness program but it has failed. So what makes it different now? I'm turning 19 this year and my determination is soaring higher than ever. I have the right roomies (Andrew, the body builder) this summer and enough time to concentrate. I mean, I'll be at the dorms this summer and it won't be as active as a normal semester... so all those summer nights hitting the gym.
--
Knights of the round table
Every night my mom is outside with my uncles as they go drinking. My Uncle Banny from Spain is still here, my Uncle Teddy from Naic Cavite is always around, and my Uncle Dhey who is a sea man has also returned. So there they are, every night outside on the round table in the Garage area.
I like having company! Even if I'm not even there. But having guests feels good rather than live these summer nights alone in this quiet sub-division.
My Uncle Banny and his wife Auntie Rema and their daughter Giovanna are staying over again. If they're in Cavite, they stay in our house. If not, they're up in their house in San Mateo, Rizal. They are occupying my mom's room. Which by the way is now completely furnished including the bathroom there. Perfect timing for them.
--
Remembering his sacrifice
I haven't watched The Passion of the Christ yet, and to say, I thought I would be in the first batch of people watching that movie! The next four days mark the highlight of the Lenten Season and Holy Week. From Maundy Thursday up until Easter Sunday. For the next three days, lots of radio stations will be off air. Television shows on the different local channels will be pre-empted. It'll be quiet, peaceful, and a time for reflection.
What will I be relflecting on for the next four days? First off, I never made any solid sacrifice yet. I've done some things, but I know it's not enough. I'm thinking this time around it'll be a sacrifice within myself. So it doesn't have to involve external things like not eating chocolate for a few days or not surfing the web.
If ever I'd try sacrificing something this Holy Week. It'll be internal. It'll be inside me.
And I still have no idea what that is.
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