Tuesday, May 25, 2004
THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS
A few months ago, I was courting someone until I reached a point and decided I needed to stop. Not because she was or wasn't interested, but because I believed later on that neither of us were ready for a relationship just yet or again.
A few weeks ago, she happened to have read my blog which was saved on a computer in our laboratory. I had saved the blog to save the pictures for possible use for our Newspaper production. I placed it in a sub-folder and eventually the main folder was copied to Shared Documents exposing it to anyone in class who had nothing to do but browse others' computers.
A few days ago, it was becoming clear that I was neglecting a part of me. Despite how busy I've been these days, I've abandoned the very friend that shaped me to become part of who I am now. It's been months since we last spoke but it's been just days since we were sitting only two seats apart. I admit I've been foolish, blind, and overly optimistic about everything around us but not 'us' as friends.
A few minutes ago, I had no idea she had new entries on her blog, which clearly indicated about how she felt. In all honesty, she has every right to get mad at me. I've been portraying a false role, that of an underdog. I'm not an underdog, I might even be the accidental villain in all of this. Actually, I don't even know. What I do know though, is that I've hurt this person blindly.
A few seconds ago, I realized again how foolish I've been and how much I love and truly miss this person who I once considered one of my closest friends these past two years.
Until a few minutes ago, I didn't really look at our friendship as damaged. I looked more on it as "on temporary mute". But it is damaged. I am more than willing on forging a new, stronger friendship when we see each other again.
I also confess that a few days ago I asked Kate to download "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys on MP3 in the lab. I know she was there and I wanted to play it loud because in some sense I wanted her to hear the message of the song.
It's not about the relationship of love but rather about the relationship we had as friends.
I can be an incoming 3rd Year JOU, a Copy Editor at HF, a friend to many, but I'm nothing much if my friendship with her is gone. I've been foolish and blind to have ignored it for half a year.
-
Curse me inside,
for every word that caused you to cry
I want you back in my life,
that's all I'm breathing for
-
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
and this song is my sorry
-
To you, I am genuinely sorry.
***
I'm getting my student drivers' license
I've finally decided to get my student drivers' license. It's actually something I should have done way back in high school. I hope getting one will make me feel more dedicated to driving because it's another thing I've seemed to have neglected.
We texted Kuya Jhong and he's dropping by on Tuesday (today) after lunch so he can take me to Cavite City. Mom said that Kuya Jhong knows someone at the LTO there so maybe we can skip any inconvenient lines.
Lance is returning
He's returning on Tuesday around lunch time according to Nikki. I think I'll be in Cavite City getting my student drivers' permit (long overdue) so maybe I'll actually drop by his house since I do have a driver taking me to Cavite City.
A part of me actually believed Lance was eventually going to decide on staying in the states. I recall a few months ago when he announced his family was returning to the states. Everyday after that, I said a silent "good bye" to someone I had or have considered as a best friend. I said to myself, it was an easier way of accepting my "twin" leaving for good.
Well he isn't leaving. At least not yet. Because tomorrow he's back and by himself now. His family is in the states and he now has a similar lifestyle to that of Aldrich (whose parents are also working for the US Armed Forces, in Guam) and of the Kuwaiti guys like Basil, Karl, and Brian.
HF crunch time
Deadline for articles from the section editors to me was yesterday (Monday). I wasn't even at the office! News is running late since certain interviews with key personalities such as the new EVP of DLSU-D, Dr. Gruenberg, have been a problem with scheduling.
I'm happy to say that Features' is finished. Eric submitted his articles and I haven't even submitted my Feature article to him. But no matter, because his page in our first Broadsheet for the new school year will probably be the first to be finished. I'm also working on my first column. At least Eric's finished.
I'm planning on starting the skeleton layout of the first issue before we leave for Baguio on Thursday night. On Thursday morning, we have an important bidding at HF with the publishers.
A few months ago, I was courting someone until I reached a point and decided I needed to stop. Not because she was or wasn't interested, but because I believed later on that neither of us were ready for a relationship just yet or again.
A few weeks ago, she happened to have read my blog which was saved on a computer in our laboratory. I had saved the blog to save the pictures for possible use for our Newspaper production. I placed it in a sub-folder and eventually the main folder was copied to Shared Documents exposing it to anyone in class who had nothing to do but browse others' computers.
A few days ago, it was becoming clear that I was neglecting a part of me. Despite how busy I've been these days, I've abandoned the very friend that shaped me to become part of who I am now. It's been months since we last spoke but it's been just days since we were sitting only two seats apart. I admit I've been foolish, blind, and overly optimistic about everything around us but not 'us' as friends.
A few minutes ago, I had no idea she had new entries on her blog, which clearly indicated about how she felt. In all honesty, she has every right to get mad at me. I've been portraying a false role, that of an underdog. I'm not an underdog, I might even be the accidental villain in all of this. Actually, I don't even know. What I do know though, is that I've hurt this person blindly.
A few seconds ago, I realized again how foolish I've been and how much I love and truly miss this person who I once considered one of my closest friends these past two years.
Until a few minutes ago, I didn't really look at our friendship as damaged. I looked more on it as "on temporary mute". But it is damaged. I am more than willing on forging a new, stronger friendship when we see each other again.
I also confess that a few days ago I asked Kate to download "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys on MP3 in the lab. I know she was there and I wanted to play it loud because in some sense I wanted her to hear the message of the song.
It's not about the relationship of love but rather about the relationship we had as friends.
I can be an incoming 3rd Year JOU, a Copy Editor at HF, a friend to many, but I'm nothing much if my friendship with her is gone. I've been foolish and blind to have ignored it for half a year.
-
Curse me inside,
for every word that caused you to cry
I want you back in my life,
that's all I'm breathing for
-
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
and this song is my sorry
-
To you, I am genuinely sorry.
I'm getting my student drivers' license
I've finally decided to get my student drivers' license. It's actually something I should have done way back in high school. I hope getting one will make me feel more dedicated to driving because it's another thing I've seemed to have neglected.
We texted Kuya Jhong and he's dropping by on Tuesday (today) after lunch so he can take me to Cavite City. Mom said that Kuya Jhong knows someone at the LTO there so maybe we can skip any inconvenient lines.
Lance is returning
He's returning on Tuesday around lunch time according to Nikki. I think I'll be in Cavite City getting my student drivers' permit (long overdue) so maybe I'll actually drop by his house since I do have a driver taking me to Cavite City.
A part of me actually believed Lance was eventually going to decide on staying in the states. I recall a few months ago when he announced his family was returning to the states. Everyday after that, I said a silent "good bye" to someone I had or have considered as a best friend. I said to myself, it was an easier way of accepting my "twin" leaving for good.
Well he isn't leaving. At least not yet. Because tomorrow he's back and by himself now. His family is in the states and he now has a similar lifestyle to that of Aldrich (whose parents are also working for the US Armed Forces, in Guam) and of the Kuwaiti guys like Basil, Karl, and Brian.
HF crunch time
Deadline for articles from the section editors to me was yesterday (Monday). I wasn't even at the office! News is running late since certain interviews with key personalities such as the new EVP of DLSU-D, Dr. Gruenberg, have been a problem with scheduling.
I'm happy to say that Features' is finished. Eric submitted his articles and I haven't even submitted my Feature article to him. But no matter, because his page in our first Broadsheet for the new school year will probably be the first to be finished. I'm also working on my first column. At least Eric's finished.
I'm planning on starting the skeleton layout of the first issue before we leave for Baguio on Thursday night. On Thursday morning, we have an important bidding at HF with the publishers.
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