Sunday, August 01, 2004
DRIVING ON THE DEPARTURE LANE
On my dad leaving again for several months
I hate airports. Unless, I'm the one entering it and getting in line at the ticket counter. In two hours, we're leaving for NAIA to drop my dad off. I can't believe I didn't count how many times we've dropped him to the airport in the past three years. He's been working on a ship abroad and he returns every 4-6 months.
He arrived here during the last week of May. That was around the time I was enjoying a well deserved vacation in Baguio with some of my classmates before exploring Banaue with Heraldo Filipino.
When he returned, the next phase of development in our little bungalo-style house was constructing the garage and the real kitchen. At this moment, it's still not finished. (The worker bee building the ceiling of the kitchen is slower than a snail).
I don't know what I'm more afraid of.
Whenever my dad is around, things feel lighter. Whenever he's not around, things feel twice as heavy. When he's not around, I worry about my mom and my brother twice as much. I worry about the condition and security of our house while I'm at my dorm twice as much. Even me, I'm worried about myself twice as much.
I don't like the feeling when you have to worry about things twice as much.
I also don't like that feeling I'm about to feel at the airport later. My mom loves my dad so much, even if they have petty arguments every now and then. I could already sense that aura of sadness when my mom and dad have to part ways for another six months. My dad said he'll try and return for my brother's high school graduation in March 2005.
I freaked out when I heard that. Wow. That's like, seven or eight months from now. I tried to picture how I'd look in March 2005. How was my appearance as I sat in the audience at Atheneum's Quadrangle? Was my hair really long?! Haha.
Anyways, back to the present.
I hate departures. I just pray to God that the next few months will run smoothly. I pray my dad's voyage across the seas be safe and sound. I pray my mom be strong again together with my brother.
To say, I'm not even close to my dad. We have opposite opinions on many things. We agree on some things, but it's just that.
Oh well. That's life. I just have to gather all that optimism in me and remind myself that one day my dad won't have to go abroad anymore to earn a living for his family. We just have to hold on to these sacrifices for a few more rounds and hopefully by then I'm earning money for myself.
I just need somebody to say to me: "Everything is gonna be alright."
***
THREE THINGS I MISS... WHEN I WAS A COLLEGE FROSH
[_] - When college life was ten times simpler as a frosh (haha), I recall the afterschool hours spent at ERS printing out lyrics to our favorite music back then. Songs like "Rainy Dayz", "Hot in Herre", and "Only Hope" spark any sentiments?
[_] - Ordering a slice of Graham Cake for take-out and storing it in my empty ref at the dorm. Then staring at the wall waiting for my room mate Lance to arrive after class where I'd start a conversation about the wonderful experience I had that day with JOU1-1.
[_] - Sitting in the Cultural Arts Office (CAO) and leaving messages in the VPAPU log book. Then, waiting for my fellow probees like Jerwyn (now VPAPU President this year) and Sai, Kring, Gerard, Roi, and the rest to arrive for our meeting.
Sigh.
On my dad leaving again for several months
I hate airports. Unless, I'm the one entering it and getting in line at the ticket counter. In two hours, we're leaving for NAIA to drop my dad off. I can't believe I didn't count how many times we've dropped him to the airport in the past three years. He's been working on a ship abroad and he returns every 4-6 months.
He arrived here during the last week of May. That was around the time I was enjoying a well deserved vacation in Baguio with some of my classmates before exploring Banaue with Heraldo Filipino.
When he returned, the next phase of development in our little bungalo-style house was constructing the garage and the real kitchen. At this moment, it's still not finished. (The worker bee building the ceiling of the kitchen is slower than a snail).
I don't know what I'm more afraid of.
Whenever my dad is around, things feel lighter. Whenever he's not around, things feel twice as heavy. When he's not around, I worry about my mom and my brother twice as much. I worry about the condition and security of our house while I'm at my dorm twice as much. Even me, I'm worried about myself twice as much.
I don't like the feeling when you have to worry about things twice as much.
I also don't like that feeling I'm about to feel at the airport later. My mom loves my dad so much, even if they have petty arguments every now and then. I could already sense that aura of sadness when my mom and dad have to part ways for another six months. My dad said he'll try and return for my brother's high school graduation in March 2005.
I freaked out when I heard that. Wow. That's like, seven or eight months from now. I tried to picture how I'd look in March 2005. How was my appearance as I sat in the audience at Atheneum's Quadrangle? Was my hair really long?! Haha.
Anyways, back to the present.
I hate departures. I just pray to God that the next few months will run smoothly. I pray my dad's voyage across the seas be safe and sound. I pray my mom be strong again together with my brother.
To say, I'm not even close to my dad. We have opposite opinions on many things. We agree on some things, but it's just that.
Oh well. That's life. I just have to gather all that optimism in me and remind myself that one day my dad won't have to go abroad anymore to earn a living for his family. We just have to hold on to these sacrifices for a few more rounds and hopefully by then I'm earning money for myself.
I just need somebody to say to me: "Everything is gonna be alright."
***
THREE THINGS I MISS... WHEN I WAS A COLLEGE FROSH
[_] - When college life was ten times simpler as a frosh (haha), I recall the afterschool hours spent at ERS printing out lyrics to our favorite music back then. Songs like "Rainy Dayz", "Hot in Herre", and "Only Hope" spark any sentiments?
[_] - Ordering a slice of Graham Cake for take-out and storing it in my empty ref at the dorm. Then staring at the wall waiting for my room mate Lance to arrive after class where I'd start a conversation about the wonderful experience I had that day with JOU1-1.
[_] - Sitting in the Cultural Arts Office (CAO) and leaving messages in the VPAPU log book. Then, waiting for my fellow probees like Jerwyn (now VPAPU President this year) and Sai, Kring, Gerard, Roi, and the rest to arrive for our meeting.
Sigh.
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