Wednesday, October 27, 2004
THE TSUNAMI INSIDE ME
The Damage Report - Year 3 - Sembreak Week #1
Background Music: All the Party Music at White Beach
NOTE: This is a weekly blog entry that summarizes a series of events over the past week.
I hopped off the unstable wooden plank and landed on a wave that was retreating into the ocean. Holding my heavy Dunlop bag, my white and blue shoes, and even a camera case I struggled forward to catch up with my friends.
I was on White Beach, Puerto Galera on the island of Mindoro.
None of us could take pictures during the last minutes of our one and a half hour voyage across the sea from Batangas City Port and the beach we had just set foot on. I, for one, was holding back my sea sickness and taking a breath of utopian air.
On this journey to beige sands were my dorm mate, co-editor, and friend Tom Wagan. He had left Heraldo Filipino the day before successfully cementing our Midyear Workshop in Batangas set for the first week of November.
With him of course is his girlfriend Leah Rose Sison. Leah is my classmate and close friend and we call each other kapatid to celebrate that closeness. Both HF's Managing Editor and one of Chorale's soprano voice type are seven months strong. Both are also finding themselves comfortable on a beach far away from the metropolis.
Jennifer "Upper" Viceo, my classmate and a new photo staffer at our publication this past school year, was also with us. She's also the only other one with a digital camera in our group. We picked her up in Carmona hours before. We kept joking about the "Bilog ang Mundo" San Miguel Gin commercial about the beach and the guy who swam to get a bottle and came out of the water and lost all his excess weight.
Jerilyn Paz, or Apple in short, found herself on a different beach than the one she expected weeks ago. Instead of following suit to bringing her friends to her relatives house somewhere in Ilocus Norte, she ended up turning that invitation down to enjoy Mindoro Slings with us. Apple is also my classmate.
Kirsten Kay Salandanan, the creative and out going girl in class, was the princess of all things that have to do with beaches. She's been to Boracay and other islands. Her dorm in Villa Isabel is like a room next to a beach. She's together with her older sister Ate Karen. Ate Karen was supposed to be with her girlfriend, yes you read that right, but she wasn't allowed to go.
We had Tom and Leah. We had Upper, Apple, and Kay. Oh yeah, wait.
William Kristoffer Eusores. I was hoping he'd come on the trip to balance the apparant lack of testostorone. If Tom was to Leah, who would I go drinking with? Ate Karen? I just met her.
Tope, his nickname, is a multi-talented classmate of mine. He's an officer in the Teatro Lasalliana and a very balanced person. He's a great person especially when in important conversations. This guy has to be so tired as well, because he just came from the Teatro Lasalliana Midyear Workshop in Batangas which took place in the days preceding our trip to White Beach.
If you paired or grouped everyone you would get Tom and Leah; Upper and Apple; Kay and Ate Karen; Tope, and well, Kay again.
A room by the beach
We walked up the beach towards the juice bars and this lady approached us.
"Sige, hanap tayo ng room at hingi tayo ng discount. Itutulungan ko kayo sa pag-hingi ng discount."
I wasn't that impressed with the kindness. Because I believe we're old enough now to decipher that her kindness was just plain business talk. I wondered how much she would charge us.
Minutes later we found ourselves canvassing for different rooms. Eventually we ended up at this room on the first floor of a two-storey beach apartment. Opposite our building was another one just like it but in construction. It was in construction as we rented the room besides it. Such ambiance.
The room had two beds and minimal furnishings. It had an air condition, a table with two chairs, an electric fan, and a small closet inside of a dresser with a mirror. This place is what we would call home for the next two days and two nights.
My eyes hurt and I was still feeling dizzy from the horrifying first boat ride from Batangas to Puerto Galera. I sat down and insisted I wanted to get some sleep. As I did that, Upper and them wanted to go swmming already and not waste any time.
Around thirty minutes later I found myself texting some important people. I told them about how beautiful the beach was and how I wish they were with me to enjoy and appreciate it.
We started the barbeque and settled our things in the room. Tom and I went down a few walkways and alleys away from the beach to search for a Sari Sari Store. It was a maze of sand, little houses, and open backyards.
"Look Tom, we're on an island!" I exclaimed with my arms opening to hug the morning sun. He remained serious in his thought. It suddenly felt like I was following him up the stairs at the Admin building on the way to the office. Sheesh.
The lady at the store was very friendly. This time I didn't think it was sales talk. Tom and I nodded at how polite the people were on this island as we returned back to our room.
Since we didn't have utencils for eating, we ate using our hands. It felt so real and so filipino. After enjoying loud conversations with each other everyone decided to just shut up and eat. We were like a bunch of angry wolves feasting on liempo and pork barbeque.
Hitting the beach
While I opted to rest since the dizziness didn't go away, mostly everyone else changed into their beach clothes. I marched out with them but couldn't brave to remove my shirt. After weeks of restless productions, late nights, bad sleeping habits, and an inconsistent gym schedule... my body would look ridiculous at the beach right now next to people who had celebrity-like figures.
That didn't stop me from getting a sun tan.
It was annoying how every five minutes someone would approach you and just bug you. I couldn't enjoy the beach completely with all these people coming up to me.
"Sir, pa-massage po kayo..."
"Kuya, bili ka ice cream..."
"Anklet... three for ten pesos..."
"Punta kayo sa bar namin mamaya ha..."
"Boat ride... Boat ride Sir..."
"Sir, masarap ang massage namin..."
"Ice cream, kuya!"
"Sige bili ka na dito..."
"T-Shirt... bili ka na ng t-shirt!"
It was disgusting how these old ladies would approach you and whisper in some wack job way how they can give you pleasure on the beach with their hands.
I ended up buying a five peso ice cream from this kid vendor. When I was giving my five pesos to the kid, another kid selling ice cream fought the first kid to get the coin from me. I did give it to the kid who sold me the ice cream, but it was so annoying.
After licking the ice cream I hated the taste! It was awful. I thought I was tricked or something. Good thing later on I saw one of the kids selling ice cream eat the same flavor I had tried to consume. At least he was enjoying it.
Henna tattoos
We went and got henna tattoos at the Gecho Bar or was it Gecho Shack or Gecho Shaft. I was amused at how my classmates could befriend anybody quickly. I was also amused how I saw the traits of a journalist in my classmates who wearn't even in Heraldo Filipino.
Eventually we met the guy who does the henna tattoos. His name is James, so we call him Kuya James. He's actually from Cavite and he's quite familiar with Dasmariñas. He's married to a half Korean lady and his three year old daughter has that Korean oriental look which makes her a popular kid on the beach.
I was impressed by how the store looked. The walls had beach necklaces and dreamcatchers hung up for sale. These dreamcatcher lanterns were on the ceiling.
Apple had a henna tattoo on her ankle. Tope had one on his right arm. Kay had one on the right side of her upper back. Ate Karen had two of them, one on the lower part of her right leg and another near her right tricep. After much convincing, Upper had hers on her left hand. On the other hand, I had mine on my left forearm.
I had a scorpion for my henna tattoo.
Tom and Leah would later get their tattoo on a later date.
We had to wait in the shed because it started to rain a little bit. The beach really felt like home to me. Whether it was sunny or if it was raining, I just felt so good to feel my feet in the warm sand. Seeing the emerald seas meet with the distant horizon felt good inside.
We decided to retreat to the room but it was still sprinkling. We hopped from beach hut to beach hut and down the sandy alley behind the food houses and juice bars and eventually made it back to our room.
A dramatic sunset
We trooped to the beach just before sunset and I took pictures in an attempt to capture all that beauty in it. At that moment I was really sure that if ever I'd get married one day, I'll have to tell the bride that it has to be at the beach.
Kay, Apple, Ate Karen, and Tope jumped into the water. I sat on the seashore just reminiscing. Sometimes it's crazy to be me. Is it because I'm Cancerian when I get all sentimental at the beach?
Watching that sunset made me think about so many things. How much I miss someone. How much work I've done in the office and if it's even enough. How much I love people like my family, friends, classmates, officemates, and dorm mates.
I sat there and closed my eyes. I heard the waves hit the seashore. I felt the rays of the sinking sun hit my face. I smelled the ocean breeze.
[Fuck this... it's so great but I only wish you were here with me... this moment would be better... TOGETHER.]
I was awakened by a rock that hit the sand near me. It was Tope throwing rocks and seashells and getting a discount on souvenir items by picking them straight from the shores.
They tried to pursuade me to jump into the water and experience the forceful waves with them. But I was just too caught in that moment. Maybe if I was with that person, the two of us could jump into the water together. I just wasn't in the mood to jump into the water and enjoy the gravity of the waves by myself. I could go with my friends but for some reason it wouldn't feel complete.
My treat, our nightlife
We all took a refreshing shower back at the room and got ready for night life. We left the room and it so happens that all the juice bars by day turn into a beach version of Libis. Screaming gays take charge inside most of these bars. It's their fruitful energy I guess that made the night surreal.
We found ourselves a table near the waves at the beach. Obviously it was dark so all we could really see was the white foam and only the shallow part.
I ordered a pitcher of Mindoro Sling and we all did group shots. I think the pace we did it was too fast so we couldn't really enjoy it more, but that's just my opinion. I ordered another pitcher of Mindoro Sling. I also ordered Tope and myself a bottle of Red Horse. Ate Karen ordered a San Mig Light.
At the point when just about all of us were at least tipsy, we got up from the table. Tom took control of the video camera and we recorded Apple do her now famous "Step Brush" dance. Basically we were all laughing because Apple just kept on dancing to the music coming from our bar and the neighboring bars.
I invited Tope with me and for us to have a one-on-one drinking session after everyone had left. I would've wanted Tom to join in to but he's not single like Tope and me. Sorry dude, I have to "step brush" you to the side.
After dropping everybody off to the room, Tope and I returned to the beach. This time further away from the first bar we stayed at. We sat down and talked.
And we talked for hours. We spoke about each others' life when it comes to love. It was one of the most important conversations I've ever had with someone. It was also a turning point.
We retreated to the room and it was past 3 o'clock in the morning already. We pulled the cushion out which didn't have pillows or a blanket. And we both joined the rest already asleep.
DAY TWO - ISLAND HOPPING
The motor switched on and it kicked off another exciting day. Our boat left White Beach and took a thirty minute journey to get to this secluded cove on the side of a small island. We put on our life jackets and one by one jumped in.
The life jacket that eats people
It was supposed to be another beautiful experience because I've never gone snorkeling before in my life. But throw in a bad life jacket and a bad air pipe, the experience turned out horrific!
I was the last to make the splash and I was spending most of the time trying to catch up with the rest. It so happens that the lower rope on my life jacket was broken forcing my life jacket to open up.
"Help! This life jacket is trying to eat me!"
Then the air pipe I had was different from the rest. These air pipes have to be the shape of a letter "J" but mine was the shape of a letter "I". So when I bent mine to make it like a letter "J", it would block air passage entirely. So it was basically useless!
Now that I was in the water with a bad life jacket and air pipe, I was basically floating like an idiot!
"Nakita mo ba guys!? May blue starfish!"
Everyone was listening to Upper. 3... 2... 1... everyone had their faces submerged into the ocean water to look at some blue starfish. All I could see were their bottoms floating up.
I was there raising my feet up like crazy because I didn't want to step on any starfish! I already stepped on a coral! I was also horrified because since I couldn't even get my goggles on correctly due to all that stress, objects that are ten feet deep only looked ten inches deep!
I saw this spikey looking coral and I was nothing but a floating exclamation point.
"Ang ganda ng starfish!!"
Ten minutes later our boat left that cove. I was already alienated at the coral reef site and on the boat I sat at the very front where there's no ceiling. I wanted to take in all the sun and ocean breeze I can to dry myself off because I didn't have a towel with me. "Part of the experience" I shrugged.
Marine life on Starfish Island
Our second stop was on this island that was in the middle of this bay. The seashore there was much peaceful compared to the one on White Beach. We hopped onto it and felt the warm seagrass on our feet as we made our way onto the beach.
Eventually it was going to be like a field trip. It was a mix of science and art class. The low tide exposed a great deal of sticky mush that we stepped on. I didn't want to step on it because I knew it was a habitat for something.
One of those somethings include this nasty looking sea slug that Kay, Apple, and Upper were screaming about in the middle of their exploration. They eventually called the attention of some beach dude who came by and explained to us what the hell we just encountered.
False alarm. It wasn't deadly, it was normal. Kay, Apple, and Ate Karen started their quest to collect starfishes while Tope, Upper, and I stayed at the beach. Did I forget to mention Tom and Leah? Well the two of them, as you can expect, spent all the quality time together everywhere we went so we don't have to enumerate much there.
I wasn't getting sentimental this time, but I was found alone again and staring at the horizon. The first thing in my head was my sun tan. Was I seriously going to get a sun tan knowing I can't even come up with the courage to remove my shirt... even on this isolated beach?
Or was it about my talk with Tope the night before?
As I looked at a neighboring island across the bay I had wondered. I had wondered how much the world has changed by simply being on a beach and away from it all.
We ate our favorite food again which was barbeque. I didn't have the stomach to eat rice at that time so everyone managed to eat their lunch except me.
Tom made this mountain of sand next to a pit of nothingness. I couldn't understand what was on his mind. In fact, we barely even spoke on the entire trip about anything serious.
Kay and Apple counted their starfish. I sat there trying to get a tan. As usual vendors approached us and offered their treasures. Apple bought a nice big sea shell for only fifty pesos. Another guy approached us trying to sell jewelry but I didn't find it enticing. Neither did Leah with her "Mura lang yan sa Divisoria..." remarks.
We were about to leave when the boat driver noticed Kay and Apple's collection of starfishes. They suddenly warned us that it was illegal to take these starfishes away from here. It wasn't their rules, but it's the rule of sea travel and it could cost them their jobs.
The happy Kirsten Kay and Jerilyn Apple joined Ate Karen in a procession back to the mushy low tide and threw back their starfishes one by one. We caught it on camera.
On the way back to the boat they had smiles on their faces.
Swimming in an aquarium
Our third destination was on a beach that neighbored White Beach, but was just blocked by this cliff and these caves that we didn't even see until we passed by it again on the return ride.
I was supposed to finalize getting a tan on this beach since it was empty and sunny. Instead I decided to give the whole snorkeling thing another shot. The Lasallians we saw from our second stop on "Starfish Island" were also snorkeling here.
Since we could snorkel from the beach and not from some boat, I could gain some ground and concentrate. I put on a working life jacket and ditched the air pipe. I just decided to hold my breath for a few seconds and see what's under the water.
I was swimming with the fishes!
(Actually, I was just floating near the small fishes.)
I saw a smaller coral reef nearby and it was something I could understand this time. On our first stop the coral reef was everywhere because we were literally floating on top of it.
I'm happy I have closure to that horrifying experience at our first stop. I didn't need to wave at some blue starfish to enjoy snorkeling.
Tope's Dilemma
We returned to White Beach and Tope reserved his return ticket back to Batangas Port. He had to go home early so he can drop his mom to the airport since his mom is returning to their home province of Leyte.
After our talk the night before I felt this certain closeness with Tope that I've never really had with anyone these days. I knew in some way how he was feeling. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't last that much. I'd probably be so bent on love, bent on emotion, bent on frustration that I'd have to be locked up in a mental institution.
Tope is so strong I guess. I think he manages to balance and maintain his integrity in any situation. I still remember the moment he lit up his cigarette the moment I started to talk to him about my life towards love.
Kay, Apple, Upper, Ate Karen, and I enjoyed merienda at the eatery next to the J/B BRIAN boarding portion of the beach. After some pictures, we had to bid Tope an early farewell.
It was at the early portion of the day's sunset as he walked up that wooden plank and sat down on that ship. He was alone and he was leaving the company of his friends and the company of someone he loves so much. He had a long journey back to Muntinlupa. And to topple that off, there wasn't a bit of closure in any of these things.
I recorded that on the video camera and felt so emphatic at that moment. While I was sentimental once again, Kay and the girls at the table went on to enjoy their mocha shakes.
I couldn't see how affected these people were with the departure of one of our own. With Tope leaving early, I lost a drinking buddy. Don't ever underestimate the meaning of a drinking buddy. Ever.
Massage and Mount Viceo
Kay, Apple, and Ate Karen went to get a massage. Since the middle aged women who did the massaging were in a group of four, they really tried to convince either me or Upper to give in to their oh-so-precious hands.
Like I said, I didn't really find it appealing. As much as this group of hot bodies down the beach who were enjoying getting a sun tan and a massage at the same time, I felt like if I removed my shirt and enjoyed a massage I just wouldn't fit in.
Instead, Upper and I took pictures. I was wearing my Broadjourn t-shirt at the time and I just couldn't help but take pictures of me wearing it. I said to myself "Hey, at least I'm the first person to be found on this beach wearing this orange t-shirt..."
Then my imagination hit me.
Howard, Shayne, Mich, and a bunch of other senior class Broadcast Journalism students suddenly land on the beach. I walk up to them wearing the orange t-shirt.
"Ha-HAH! Birds of the same feather flock together in waves!"
Fuck that. No, not the seniors, the loyalty concept. It's too much, it's discusting.
After the three girls enjoyed their massage they decided to go swimming again. I did enough swimming already during our island hopping adventure in the morning so I enjoyed another sunset and just got my feet drenched in the water.
Kay, Apple, and Ate Karen decided to put sand on top of Upper. After what seemed like hours of hard work, we were proud to baptize "Mount Viceo". Actually the result wasn't a mountain, it was just this transvestite dome on the beach that had breasts, a cock, two balls, and all. The girls even got the balls in the wrong place the first time.
Nyek...as if wala silang alam sa ganon.. pa-simple pa! Nakakainis.
We got it all on video tape. We retreated to the room to find the lovebirds, that would be Tom and Leah, doing their own thing. Eating dinner together, that is.
Another round of Mindoro Slings
We spent quite some time in the room before engaging in one last night life experience. There was this one brown out and an episode of Mario's favorite food. No, I didn't try any. No, none of us tried any.
We left for dinner when it was past 10 o'clock in the evening. We ordered this big tuna which they fixed up into a delicious sinigang and a fried dish. After enjoying that we had two pitchers of Mindoro Sling which tasted stronger than the previous night. Then Ate Arman (the gay we were all familiar with) gave us a pitcher of Liquid Ice or whatever it was. It was color blue.
My classmates enjoyed the taste but once I started having shots of it, it started to form gas in my upper chest. I wanted to burp but I was afraid if I burp'd I might just throw up. Instead, I walked over to the beach and sat down.
I did the same thing. I closed my eyes. I felt the waves hit the shore. I felt the mystery of the sea. I felt the seduction of the sea. I felt... better.
Next thing I know Kay, Leah, Upper, and Apple are throwing sand at each other. Suddenly they decide to pour sand down the back of my Broadjourn t-shirt and Tom gets it on camera. I remember Ate Karen was at the table.
I was tipsy but it went away as I concentrated on the sea shore. Before Upper left, she said she wanted to sleep at the beach.
Kay and I were now together on the beach after everybody had left. Just like the night before when I was with Tope, we talked about life coming to love. Except this time, I made sure the focus was on her because I didn't want to remember anything from my part for the time being.
So we spoke and I had to come out with the best advice I could that is fair to both my friend Tope and the friend I have in Kay. My advice would eventually be summarized into the phrase "There's nothing to lose."
We returned to our room and fell asleep.
DAY 3 - LOSING CASH TO TREASURES
In the morning we were preparing to go around to buy souvineers. I wanted to buy a t-shirt, some anklets, and other sorts to take back. I also wanted to buy a dreamcatcher lantern.
The sales talking bitch
On the way out we encountered the lady who owned the place we were staying at. She told us we had to check out at 1130 AM or we'll be charged another whole day. Our schedule to leave the island was at 4:30 in the afternoon and when we first signed up for the place, we were told we would just pay per hour on our third day.
Eventually bitterness crept up on everybody and we packed out before 1130 AM. We kept our chins up as we walked by her house and we looked for another place to keep our stuff in. We found one but it was at further away. It was also dark and the floors wearn't tiled.
We had lunch at another eatery which became fast crowded after we sat down. I ordered Pork Sinigang, as if I wasn't satisfied with the Tuna Sinigang the night before. We all had shakes and just soaked in the sun as it reflected off the sands on the beach.
After eating Apple, Upper, Ate Karen, and Kay decided to go swimming again. I was experiencing a slight sun burn on my right shoulder and I thought it was crazy to go swimming when the sun was straight up in the sky. I mean, no one was really swimming at that time except them.
I was amused but I couldn't stay long at the beach which had no shade. I found shelter, by myself, on a beach hut about a hundred meters down the beach. I spent around fifteen minutes there in solitude next to another kid selling ice cream and some dude offering me another boat ride.
I was going to stay there and just think about the person I miss the most, but I was starting to get paranoid. What if this ice cream kid and that boat guy were syndicates of this massage lady nearby. What if this whole island was a conspiracy waiting to happen?!
I found myself returning to the sunny beach to catch my classmates leaving the water.
Money problems
Afterwards we went to buy souvenirs at the edge of White Beach. I bought a dreamcatcher lantern and two necklaces from the Gecho Tribe. I bought two t-shirts, one for myself and another for my mom. I bought this nice pair of beach shorts with these blue stars on it. I bought several anklets.
Basically after all the buying, I was broke. I crashed back into our dim room and just contemplated. I told myself Legacy wasn't an extra thing, it's almost a neccesity with all these expenses.
At 4:30 in the afternoon the last boat bound for Batangas City Port for the day was leaving. It was sad how we had to rush to get onto that boat and not relax with our last minutes on the beach.
Tom and Leah had to rush taking their shower.
It was a wonderful feeling this time as we were on the boat. There were these two foreign nationals seated next to us. I sat in one of the plastic benches in the center of the boat.
The moment was bittersweet. I couldn't stop thinking about someone. That person's presence in my mind was more intense than the waves hitting our boat. I got teary-eyed just trying to remember this person talk. The voice is so unique and relaxing.
The entire journey to Puerto Galera was centralized on that inner feeling I had for that person. It crept in my veins asthoughts of us running down the seashore at sunset wouldn't leave my mind.
I had then decided I had to eat my own medicine.
"There is nothing to lose."
Flash.
Puerto Galera. White beach. Apple. Upper. Leah. Tom. Kay. Ate Karen. Tope. Sands. Sunset. Sunrise. Bars. Night life. Party music. Ocean breeze. Coral reef. Stupid life jacket. Blue starfish I never saw. Vendors. Massage ladies. Kuya James from the Gecko Tribe. Dreamcatchers. Barbeque. Liempo. Tuna sinigang. Pork sinigang. Mocha shake. Mango shake. J/V Brian. Scorpion.
I love to see the ocean's beauty
and the moon that shines above
alone in the sand looking at the stars
Wishing someday I would find true love
Would it be nice to see the morning
With the one you love the most
Would it be nice to say goodnight
To the one you hold so close to your heart
To your heart
The wind that blows the dove
Is the wind that blows my love
Hope it'll find its way to you
Wherever you are
I love to sit in fields of green
Looking deeply through the sky
Watching birds as they fly by
Hoping someday fate will bring me true love
Would it be nice to hold someone
So dear, near to your heart
I love you from the one that you love
that you love
Lines taken from "WHEREVER YOU ARE". Southborder.
--
I'll just let go of reality and say what I feel when the moment is right between the two of us. It's this anticipation buried within that scares and excites me.
Comments:
hey george! guess hu? lol! its me naice!=) anyway, this is my second time to see ur blog, astig ng pix! and i read sumthing interesting.;) in love k pla! kaw ha, u didn't tell me u wer eyeing on sum1 ha!hmmm...well, hu ever she is, i'm sure she's one lucky gal! tc!
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