Saturday, January 08, 2005
THE PAPER DESK
The Damage Report - Year 3 - Ending Week #25
Background Music: "You'll Be Safe Here" by Rivermaya
NOTE: This is a weekly blog entry that summarizes a series of events of a finished week in and around La Salle.
WHERE IS my muse?
I guess I owe it to my colleagues when I think about who is shaping me to work, to strive, and fend for myself. I am an editor that was never empowered or enlightened by a past editor. I never received the blessings or "master and padawan" support that most other editors enjoy.
There is something in my work ethic that believes strongly in good communication and great team work. I've been able to distinguish between what is professional and personal, which I learned from VPAPU and my first two years of working for the publication.
I think there are several factors that have led me to this point of feeling like an insignificant editor sometimes in the middle of my term.
(1) The position itself as Copy Editor - his job is to scrub articles and polish its' content after the section editors edit it. He then hands the copy to the ASSOC then to the EIC. He has no staff under him. His job among all the editors in the EB is the closest towards pure editing. A position that is flexible as much as it is seemingly not so demanding.
(2) Lack of inspiration - working and editing and not getting compliments from your colleagues can really build up stress. It's like you're editing and that's it. You're really just part of this machine.
(3) Trust issues in the essence of past mistakes - I feel like some editors are looking at my past mistakes and using that as a sign to make me look handicapped. Yes, I've screwed up an article or two. I've submitted a bunch of articles late. But I've learned in each of those experiences. Per se, past is past.
(4) Soft-spoken personality - I'm not vocally aggressive when it comes to intense debates during EB meetings. I have reservations but usually they are of few words. I am only pushed to join in these debates when I know for sure that I'm fighting for something. I also don't want to sound redundant.
I've learned that you can't always win support even from your closest friends. I've learned that silence will get you no where, so you have to speak up eventually. I've learned that one very crucial thing really as Copy Editor is to just accomplish your job (editing) and put lesser attention towards the work of others. In other words, minding my own business.
But most importantly, I've learned to believe in myself even when you have that feeling that people don't trust you and believe in you.
I started off as an editor that was trying to derive energy from the encouragement and inspiration of editors I idolized. But when these idols you look up to just don't want to pick you up and fuse you with their system of belief and communication, you learn to think otherwise. It's not their fault, it's just how things turned out.
I believe I now derive energy not from my personal frustrations, but from the spirit of continuity. On the day I leave Heraldo Filipino, I want to make sure I inspired someone, edited with grace, started timeless traditions, and improved dramatically the internal machinery of the publication.
--
Dry
This week I didn't apply any Suave hair conditioner which usually keeps my hair looking wet and sleek. I've realized it's done enough damage to my hair. In the situation my hair is in now, it really has to be fixed.
I'm thinking of heading over to the hair spa or whatever. The most outstanding thing I ever did for my hair at a salon was get highlights. I'm now taking into consideration of subjecting my hair to other services since I've decided to keep the length of it right now as a standard.
A lot of people commented that my hair this past week looks good in the sense that it is something new to look at. Kate kept telling me to dump the Suave and just keep it the way it is.
I managed to get Tom's take on it and he agreed with me in getting a trim to fix it up a bit. However if I'm planning on doing anything dramatic in the next few weeks, I shouldn't get a haircut. I should just let it be for the big night. (If ever.)
--
Logo stress
Arjay and I join a list of other classmates who were pushed around this past week in the organization of our first production of this semester. In our ENR-2 class, we are being divided into groups (in both the 3-1 and 3-2 classes) for a late night mini-OJT.
The plan is to venture off into the different police districts of Metro Manila and to search for real news that we will produce and edit for our show. This is the closest to the real thing we've been set up for, Sir Palad kept us in the studio.
JOU3-1 will be going on Saturday evening while I join JOU3-2 on next Tuesday's run. I am in a group of five which includes our leader Leah, and we are assigned to cover the Western Police District (WPD).
Anyways, Sir rushed us on Wednesday night to produce a logo on the spot. It was really frustrating because Arjay and I had other matters to attend to that evening (she had a Teatro engagement while I had HF matters). Sir kept us working until 2AM of Thursday morning which forced me to call for an absence in Media Ethics later that morning. I would eventually postpone my exam in Media Ethics for Saturday.
I do understand that this is part of the whole media training, so I shouldn't complain. Sir Rivera has been a wonderful professor so far, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I really, as in REALLY, got irritated at what happened that night.
I just wish he'd understand that his students, like Arjay and myself, have extracurricular activities and our positions in them aren't just members. Arjay is an officer, I'm an editor. It's not that I want to prioritize HF over my academics, but for Sir to show a little understanding. If he could just nod that Arjay and I have enough stress already.
Plus, there are a lot of hard working students in class that can kindly take charge. It shouldn't all be on Arjay's shoulders.
--
Pre-thesis
Kate and I have begun preliminary research and planning for our thesis. It's going to be about alternative/underground journalism and our backup plan which will use a duplicated format of the original concept will be about online journalism.
It was exciting when we went to the thesis section of the library on Wednesday afternoon with partners Eric and Maycee. We managed to find the thesis' of Ms. Carillo (HF News Editor in the 1990s, now a professor at CAD) and Kuya Ronald (HF and LS layout artist). I also ran into the thesis of Mr. Frederick Agustin, who was the creator of HF's mascot "Abdul".
I came up with this crazy idea that Kate and I establish a "morale system" to keep us game and well versed. One part of that idea was to give the two of us a team name like on some partners on The Amazing Race. The name of ours is "TEAM MESSENGER" because we both love Yahoo! Messenger.
--
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE. Rivermaya.
--
13.01
Well nothing happened this past week. Texts, miss calls, none of it happened. At times it really didn't bother me much, perhaps it was because I was busy at HF. Then there were times it was really bothering me and really hurting inside. I couldn't hand my Christmas gift and card because I was never really given the chance. But it's still with me and I'm just waiting for the right time... it's better late than never. Like I said in the message in the card, there's nothing much I can do now. All I can do is smile, like instructed. And hope. And pray.
Pray and believe. And to NEVER GIVE UP.
Comments:
Post a Comment