Saturday, November 15, 2003
CHIRO'S WHIRLPOOL
The Damage Report - Year 2 - Ending Week #20
Background Music: "It's Me Life" by No Doubt
NOTE: This is a weekly blog entry that summarizes a series of events of a finished week in and around La Salle.
THIS past week has been a whirlpool, as suggested by the title. Anyone who cares about people would be drawn into it and flushed down into it ending up at the bottom of it all.
I've never felt this low before when it came to helping people. If, at last semester, I was watching over a friend of ours who collapsed right in front of us... it's different this semester. This special someone to everyone has a serious, heavy problem. It isn't just a normal one. This problem, whether he knows it or not, has created bolder divisions which are now clearer than ever.
First of all, this person is undergoing pain that I feel I can definantly relate to. That just drives me crazy to help this person even more, but on your way to helping this person he lashes out things which push us back. Then there goes the guilt stage... at how we want to help this person and how we failed to help him. It's this viscous cycle that has Abbie, Lance, Mark, and myself in it. Abbie has become disturbed and a bit unstable because of this (which in itself is another bigger issue), Lance is holding on to his concepts and philosophical logic to keep his ground, Mark is practicing his english with all of us at the same time balancing his grades and this blown-up crisis... and I'm experiencing technical difficulities trying to help this person out because he has no idea how much we could be so related by experience and nurture. Actually, he barely has the idea that there are others, too, that care about him... his mental, physical, and spiritual health.
This person is on the verge of leaving everyone. He's at his lowest ever. He has episodes where everything is alright and happy again... then in the evening hours he's running amok in the dormitories and strangling himself with his problems.
But why?
We asked ourselves this. Abbie, Lance, and I on Friday night (at the end of the week).
Abbie and I completed each others sentences with "He has this warm impression on everyone... warm first impression... it just attracts everyone... yes everyone... and in the end when he's in great need we have the initiative to help him... but he doesn't seem to show acceptance of us helping him... since to him all the help he needs is in one person and one person alone which is... or was... from his best friend."
That's what makes me sad. First of all, it's not even my problem but since this problem that someone has is something I can relate to, it draws me in to help this person out and find the best solution possible. But I'm afraid he just won't listen. I mean, will he? He just stares off into the distance.
According to Lance, I need to hang out with him more often. And with him, Lance means it in a way to "hang out more with the rest of the guys". Just hearing that line gave me shivers down my spine... I suddenly remembered my High School years and "gnotek". The only regret in High School in relation to "gnotek" was that I should have stood my ground and become my own individual instead of waiting for hours for Bryan Fuerte, who stood his ground proudly. I was so weak in High School and now, I know I've changed.
I think what Lance suggested was that "to get Aldrich to trust me more" or to "get his attention" was to surrender myself to the guys and do whatever they did. Counterstrike (that game is 10 years old next month!)... etc.
I've proven to myself that I don't need to be everywhere to accomodate everyone. In the span of one school day, I can touch all sectors of my college life. My colleagues in Heraldo and Comm Channel to my lovable classmates in JOU2-1... and every night the "endless kwentuhan" in my room or in neighboring rooms. I've done it all. I'm that versatile, so I shouldn't feel guilty. What do they want me to do? Stretch further?
For our friend in need, yes, I'm willing to accomodate his problems and guide him through it. Like I've said, I've been there before... if not entirely, at least most of it. That pain... like someone stabbed you in the heart... where you can barely breathe... barely walk... barely think... if only he'd look my way and trust me... I can help him through his problems and everyone would be happy again.
Abbie and I have separate game faces when it comes to this problem... but we still have the same objective which is to remain determined to show our support and care for this person...
I guess this is where that saying goes about doing good things and good deeds even when it will go un-noticed. Whether our friend will ever get through his problems next week, next month, or in the near future... our determination must never fade.
Thanks Abbie. You're here now in Broadjourn and you have Comm Theory so we can become classmates in the future in some subjects. WE WILL make it through this. We've reached this far in our circle and I'm not giving up. In fact, the intensity hasn't started yet. When it does, we will ALL be there.
Thanks Mark. Damn, you're so incredible when it comes to these situations. You say you don't give the best advice... well, I don't expect the best advice. I don't expect anything big and sausy to come my way from you. But you give honest feedback and you listen to everyone. That's one of the best feelings in the world... when you know that someone is listening. Thanks.
Thanks Lance. Certain revelations have appeared this past week about friendships. I had to keep my cool at one instant, hehe. But still, we have five years behind us filled with experiences. Let this be just one of those experiences... not the bump, turn, or end to anything.
***
Highlights this past week:
- Our first meeting in Laws of Mass Media happened and our professor is noneotherthan the "green minded terror professor", Dr. R. Santiago. I interviewed him last semester for the La Salleño Persona, which wasn't published due to changes in the administrative part of the Features' Section.
- I installed the wall of pictures in my corner of my dorm room. It's not entirely finished, but I fixed it up and it's ready to carry new pictures, especially the more recent ones.
- Mark and I watched UGAT at Lake Park on Monday night and then we ate at Square Canteen for dinner with some of the others.
- Tony finally appeared at the dorm with consistency enough for us to be able to talk to him. Since Tony doesn't have any company in F7 for the time being, he sleeps in our room.
- In Volleyball we had pre-tests, and I only scored four consecutive self-volley's compared to 30 to 50 consecutive self-volley's that the others had. What does this mean during our conditioning exercises next week? I'm in for it. o_O
- The President of the Philippines, her excellency Ms. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, visited DLSU-D on Thursday making her the first President of the country to visit our campus. I was not included in the HF-coverage unit which underwent scans by the PSG, and because I had class... I was unable to see the President in person. However, I know a lot of people who did get to see her including Abbie. And in my classmate Kate's case, she got to shake hands with the President twice.
- Maycee and I photocopied this entire book entitled "Mass Media - Laws and Regulations in the Philippines" which we believed contained all the useful information we needed for one of our three major subjects this semester. We had it binded into a hardbound book and then the rest of the class was invited to do the same if they wanted. However, technically speaking, photocopying books in-whole is against the law... yikes.
- Lance formulated this "brotherhood" (an exclusive friendship) with Tony and I... which I was initially very skeptic about. Lance is my best friend and I've always seen Tony as a reflection of me during my Freshmen year in College... so I hope whatever Lance came up with stays true and strong and that it develops in the weeks to come.
- Fusion was postponed from Wednesday to Friday and on Friday it was raining really hard. Fusion was moved to the Tanghalan Julian Felipe where we watched these singers and dancers compete. Of the singers, I finally saw Erin who is Tony's crush in his class (COM1-1)...
[I didn't have the chance to hear Erin sing, since she was the second to sing and we arrived during the third singer. Erin was 2nd place while this 4th Year ComSci girl was the Champion. Of the dancers: COS was represented by BCS1-1, which is where Matthew comes from. I personally enjoyed CBA, the short girl in the middle had this charming smile... and they performed "cool". CET had two reps, the first group was a group of guys who danced to Michael Jackson music which had all those "sound effects" in it. The mystery of the night belonged to the CIHM. There was this one guy that girls where drooling over... and that guy left the dancefloor twice and on the second time he never returned to it. Also in the CIHM performance, the ending was a blast... literally, when the timing was all wrong and this guy did a backflip and smashed another dancer in the back... OUCH!!
CLA, which was represented by First Year Community Development students (not the CLA-Pool of Talents, as I had thought) danced... they were energized... literally speaking... I mean, the girl in the center had this face like she stuffed a bunch of sour candy into her mouth. Woah! Eventually they won with the whole "Sex Bomb" approach and appeal. Yes, they reminded everyone of the Sex Bomb dancers. Not only of what they were wearing, but the music that they danced to. Never the less, they're C-L-A... and that's our college.
With me to watch Fusion was Mark, Leah, Ayesha, and Joseph. Lance followed and Wilda sat next to us when she saw us. After the show we went to Inasal and ate... Mark, Leah, and I drank (I finished my bottle of San Mig Light and finished the rest of Leah's since she didn't want it anymore). Leah sang the end of a song when that guy-singer invited her to, and she charmed the audience. Ayesha and her boyfriend Conrad where with us as well.
We got "curfewed" and our IDs were taken. We returned around past 10pm... we should've stayed longer if we knew our IDs were going to be taken anyways.]
- Abbie and Len successfully enrol'd [Intro to Comm Theory], which is a Saturday class. We will be seeing them on Saturdays now (and Friday night outs too). On Friday night after curfew(d), I joined Abbie and Lance talk at the Polca Gate next to room F11 and we spoke about the frustrations of recent events and issues.
- On Saturday morning, I attended only the last 15 minutes of the International Student Organization/Association (ISO/ISA) Seminar, which was a 3-hour long thing. I was late since I was sleeping in my room and my bed was so comfortable.
- I went to the HF around lunchtime on Saturday to join Tom Wagan in interviewing a spokesperson from Bulatlat.com. We couldn't interview the guy so we just returned to our dorms together. I packed up and I was picked up.
***
And on a sidenote, I've taken a two-week break from digital photography and coverage (partly blamed on drained batteries and the laziness to go purchase another round of 4 AAs). Digipics resume in next week's "The Damage Report", and I've got something new planned.
***
One Year Ago in "The Damage Report" of Freshmen Year College Week #20 was the week when our classmate Charmagne Kaye Diaz joined the Bb. La Salle and was 2nd Runner-up. Read about it in that post entitled "One In a Million".
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